Love and Laughter

KAZZAS ARMY

2011-04-22T13:43:00.000-07:00

Friends,

The universe has presented me with this fantastic piece of inspiration and an excellent way to honor my mom...we have signed up as a team and are walking in honor of my mom in the 3rd Annual San Diego Breath of Hope Lung Cancer Walk on Sunday May 1, 2011...which is less than 2 weeks away.

We have appropriately named our team

KAZZA'S ARMY.

We would love for you to either join us on our journey or donate to the cause.

We appreciate all of your love and support.

Love and Laughter

**Click me for the link**

He Who Has Yet To Be Named

2011-04-21T11:13:00.000-07:00

Found this photo on the fridge this morning, drawn by Michael...its our Fridge Baby

Yesterday Michael and I went for our Second Trimester Screening, also called The Anatomy Scan. There is another purpose to this scan other than seeing if you've got a "Twinkie" (a little fella) or a "Cupcake" (a little lady), its also used to evaluate most of the baby's features, determines his/her size, position, amount of amniotic fluid, location of the placenta, and to make sure that all of the organs are where they should be and growing properly.
Folks, we have a lovely, perfect little baby boy on our hands!

His Little Baby Foot

His Perfect Side Profile

His Profile Again...ahhh isn't he just the cutest?

Needless to say, we are completely IN LOVE <3 and cant wait to meet him! Hopefully by then he will have a name!

Here are the top runners so far:

and by the way, whatever his first name happens to be, his middle name is Lannon...after Michael's little brother Tim.

Oliver (my favorite)
Knox
Bishop
Jack (my absolute favorite, Michael's least favorite)

I think that there are a few more on the list but since I cant think of them, that means they are out! ha
........Really shooting for Oliver...oh my!
Oliver Lannon Easton

"When the first baby laughed for the first time, the laugh broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies."
Sir James Barrie in Peter Pan

Half Way To The Finish Line

2011-04-18T11:03:00.000-07:00

So, here I am at the 20 week mark...this means that I am half way to the finish line! Half way to meeting our boy, who has no name, ha!. Half way to needing to hurry up and get everything done! Halfway to the happiest day of our lives!

and let us not forget...half way to the gnarliest pain ever! I'm not gonna lie...I'm a teeny bit scared.

We have our second trimester screening this coming Wednesday morning so we should have some great new pictures to share with everyone.

Ill keep ya posted!

xo

A new baby is like the beginning of all things - wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities.
Eda J. Le Shan

Just Think...

2011-04-15T15:23:00.000-07:00

Im sure that Ive shared this before, but I just ran across is again....its from my moms MYSPACE posted on Jan 19 2009...kinda amazing how the universe works...

Just think

Current mood:thoughtful

When you feel a gentle breeze
Caress you when you sigh
It's a hug sent from Heaven
From a loved one way up high

If a soft and tender raindrop
Lands upon your nose
They've added a small kiss
As fragile as a rose

If a song you hear fills you
With a feeling of sweet love
It's a hug sent from Heaven
From someone special up above

If you awaken in the morning
To a bluebird's chirping song
It's music sent from Heaven
To cheer you all day long

If tiny little snowflakes
Land upon your face
It's a hug sent from Heaven
Trimmed with Angel lace

So keep the joy in your heart
If you're lonely my dear friend
Hugs that are sent from Heaven
A help a broken heart mend

Love plus Magic Equals My Mom

2011-04-15T14:24:00.000-07:00

ahhh...so here I sit on the eve of the 2 year anniversary of my mom's passing.

I am at once amazed and startled at the time that has gone by...in my heart it feels like yesterday, but my head knows the truth...and I am still amazed daily that I have made it this far without her physically her by my side, cracking jokes, making me laugh, being my one true champion...

And yet, Ive kept moving forward with one swollen foot in front of the other. So many things have happened since she's been gone...but its the happiest, most exciting times that I find to be truly the hardest...being unable to share those moments with her...

and here I am, carrying this little baby boy who will learn about her through my laughter and my tears, he will get to know her through my brother, through my cousins, my dad, my aunt and uncles, and everyone who has ever loved her. Her legacy will live and love on through my son, which makes me weep with pride. Now if I can only manage to be 1/10th of the mother she was, then my fella will be one lucky kid.

...Ive been secretly hoping he gets those famous dimples of hers....I wonder if shes listening...do you think she can hook it up? ;)

I miss her and love her more today than yesterday and only half as much as tomorrow.

Loss leaves us empty - but learn not to close your heart and mind in grief. Allow life to replenish you. When sorrow comes it seems impossible - but new joys wait to fill the void.
— Pam Brown

Better Late Than Never...

2011-04-14T14:42:00.001-07:00

Here are two photos of our squiggly long legged little boy...

Hes just so stinking cute...he looks just like me! ha ha
These photos are quite a few weeks old...they were taken at my 12 week appointment and I am now nearly 20 weeks...almost halfway there!
This is such an exciting time for us...yet still seems so surreal. Sometimes I glance at my big ol belly and think..."Really? Is this really happening? OMG, I'm so excited!" other times I glance at my swollen cankles and think " Oh jeez...I just really want to sit down."
I'm starting to feel him wiggle around a bit, which is really cool.
But, I'm not gonna lie...there have been moments when I have broken down at the realization that I am not experiencing this with my mom...and that my baby will never get to know her and love her properly.
Sure she lives in my heart and memory and I will talk to him about her, but I'm sorry, its not the same, not even close...I feel cheated a little...

However, my dad, oh my dad, has got to be the dang cutest thing anyone has ever seen...he has definitely stepped in and filled a large portion of that hole...at times I'm certain that hes more excited than we are!
Now we just need to find this fella a right proper name.
We've got a few picked out...so far nothing seems to be sticking...I guess worst case, my fella gets his name right before he leaves the hospital.

Ive decided that I'm going to use this blog for the duration of my pregnancy and for as long as I can keep up with it as my boy grows up and as we experience life changes...

I do, however, have a question that I'm rolling around...what to do about the side intro over there

I think it needs a switch up...

xo

Boys are found everywhere -- on top of, underneath, inside of, climbing on, swinging from, running around or jumping to. Mothers love them, little girls hate them, older sisters and brothers tolerate them, adults ignore them and Heaven protects them. A boy is Truth with dirt on its face, Beauty with a cut on its finger, Wisdom with bubble gum in its hair and the Hope of the future with a frog in its pocket.
Alan Marshall Beck

Oh friends...

2011-04-13T09:47:00.000-07:00

I know I have been MIA for quite some time...and I apologize. I don't even know if anyone reads this anymore... anyhow, LOADS of changes since I last wrote. Lets get started:

I guess we will start first with the not so good news...

In early August of 2010, my beloved grandpa, my moms dad, passed away. We were devastated but took great comfort in knowing that he lead a full and wonderful life filled with love.

And though it may seem weird, we find solace in knowing that he is now safe at home with my momma...They were both some kinda magic and we will all miss them forever.

and now onto the good news... My cousin Jennifer and her husband Mike welcomed their new bundle of joy into the world in August. His name is Isaiah Marcel and he is just the bees knees...and such a good boy!

My cousin Mikey, the Navy man, came home two weeks ago from a 7 month long deployment in Afghanistan...oh boy did we miss him!

My cousin Ashley got married this past weekend to a wonderful guy named Brandyn and now shes a Lopez! She was a beautiful bride and it was so nice to see my family laughing, dancing and having a great time together!

And now for two zingers...number one, my dad has decided to sell my parents house and move to New Zealand...to live full time... I will miss him terribly, but I honestly couldn't be happier for him.

and...dun dun dun...Michael and I are expecting our first baby, a little fella, in September! Wholy cow, right?! we gots a load of stuff happening and all of its exciting!

As we approach the two year mark of my mom's passing, the universe presented me with this fantastic piece of inspiration and a wonderful way for me and my family to honor my mom... we are signing up as a team and walking in honor of my mom in the 3rd Annual San Diego Breath of Hope Lung Cancer Walk on May 1, 2011.

We have appropriately named our team

KAZZA'S ARMY

we would love for any of you to join us or donate to the cause.

PLEASE CLICK HERE

This link will give you all of the information that you need to know.

We appreciate and love you for who you are and all that you do!

“Other things may change us, but we start and end with family”

Anthony Brandt

On this day in 1953

2010-06-09T17:13:00.000-07:00

my favorite person ever was born...my mom.
So, tonight, friends, think of her with love and happiness...let it fill up your soul and burst right through to your heart.
And while youre at it...eat a slice of something fantastic her honor...perhaps some pecan pie...a heaping mound of peach pie...her two favorites...and smile.

hugs and love

Mom

2010-04-22T11:54:00.000-07:00

“I thought of you with love today, but that is nothing new, I thought about you yesterday and days before that too.

I think of you in silence, I often speak your name, all I have are memories and your picture in a frame.

Your memory is my keepsake, with which I’ll never part. God has you in his keeping, I have you in my heart."

I miss you more today than yesterday and only half as much as tomorrow

2010-04-16T00:54:00.001-07:00

Today marks the one year anniversary of my mom’s passing, I can’t help but reflect on the year and the monumental changes that have happened.

I am a mommas girl through and through and I have honestly surprised myself by making it this far. I didn’t think that I would ever last a day without her. There have been many, many days that I felt that I wanted to just crumble onto the ground …but like I said, I am a mommas girl and that means that I won’t allow myself to do that…plus I have a huge fear of her coming and smacking me from the afterlife for behaving less than she would have wanted me to.

My pain hasn’t lessened any, it’s just projected in a different way and I will forever walk around with a ginormous whole in my heart.

My family and I have lost an integral part of our being, the thread that held our family fabric together and we have had the hardest year that anyone can imagine…but, we are all still standing…and some days that its only attributed to the fact that we have someone else holding us up…and that’s okay, thank god we have each other. I know, for myself, that I wouldn’t have made it here if it weren’t for my amazing family and for my very compassionate and understanding friends. I feel so lucky to be surrounded by such amazing people.

I’ve learned a lot of things this year…I’ve learned that I’m stronger than I never thought I was, I’ve learned that each day I am more like my mom and that really makes me smile and I’ve learned that love isn’t what makes the world go ‘round, it’s what makes the ride worthwhile.

glee

2010-04-11T16:55:00.000-07:00

Yes, that is a term of joy...but more importantly, its the television show that my cousin Emily is trying out for!
She needs votes so friends please go here and watch the video of her singing:

EMILY SINGS!

and then go here and vote for her:

GLEE AUDITION

Now, you have to have a MySpace account in order to vote...so if you dont have one, maybe you can make one real quick? ;)

And please, please tell your friends.
Help make her dream come true!

Come on friends! You can doooooo it!!

hugs xx

“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.” Ashley Smith

The Biggest Best News Yet!

2010-03-23T13:05:00.000-07:00

As most of you know, my cousin Jennifer is pregnant with her third baby...and we are all over the moon about it! So exciting!
Well, on Sunday, the whole famdamily, Jennifer, Big Daddy Mike, and their passel of kids, Kion, Kayla, Junior and Kiana, Aunt Nancy, Steven, Emily and I, went down to Jenna's ultra sound 4D appointment to find out the sex of our new baby.
And just as we thought, we have a little baby boy coming and we should be meeting him around August 30th! I cant wait!
Thank god this place was big enough to fit us all in there so we could share this amazing experience together. I think the cutest thing about the day (aside from toasting his impending arrival with yummy VG's donuts) was when Kayla saw him she said, "Oh he's so cute! Can I hold him?" and then later she asked me "Is that boy coming out yet?" She's so stinkin cute and seems to be very excited about the new baby.

So with out further ado, let me introduce you to the newest member of our family, "That Boy"...

Now, we just have to find him a name...

A new baby is like the beginning of all things-wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities.
-- Eda J. Le Shan

The TLE

2010-03-17T11:57:00.000-07:00

Three years ago today, we lost a very silly, loving, sarcastic, friend, brother, nephew and son.
I am so honored to have known him and so thankful that our paths crossed. He had this great sense of humor and this quiet gentleness about him...but by far my favorite memories of him will always be the ones in which I come from work and to find him just chillin on my couch, being a Schmeck, uninvited but always welcome.

Timothy Lannon Easton

I am sending extra love to my Easton Familia and hold them firmly in my heart today.

"Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy."

Good News Part Duex

2010-03-11T21:08:00.000-08:00

As I said in the last post, we have had quiet a few changes in our lives lately and all of them good. Yea for us!
so, let's talk about good news number two...
Somewhere around January of last year, my cousin Mikey enlisted in the Navy. My mom was absolutely beaming with pride as well as everyone else in our family...especially my grandfather and our cousin Big Mike who were both Navy men themselves.
Well, Mikey left for boot camp in January and on March 5, 2010, he graduated as an E2! I act like I know what that means, but the truth is that I have no earthly idea...all I really know is that he graduated THIRD in a class of 700 something recruits!
We are so dang proud of our lil sailor!
Go Mikey!
Go Navy!

hugs xx

“When asked what I am most proud of, I stick out my chest, hold my head high and state proudly, 'I served in the United States Navy!'”
John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Its Official

2010-03-10T15:08:00.000-08:00

I am the worst person on the planet. I havent updated this thing in about a thousand years. Generally, my excuse is that I havent anything to talk about...but, after three months of not posting, you better believe I have stuff to talk about...I mean, how lame would I be if I didnt?! ugh.

There have been some changes going on in our lives lately...but the best one, hands down is this:
My best friend, who also happens to be my cousin, Jennifer, is expecting a baby in August! We are so thrilled and absolutely overjoyed at the thought of a new baby to play with! And it goes without saying that my mom would have been out shopping THE second the news arrived...she loved her some babies! haha.

So, please, friends, rejoice with us and pray that we have a happy, healthy little baby...a boy baby! hahaha.

hugs forever.

“A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for”

Hiddy Ho There Neighbors!

2009-11-24T09:49:00.000-08:00

Here we are, just a few short days before we take off and I am freaking thrilled! Agh!!!!! I just cant wait to get on outta here and kick my shoes off and run around barefoot in the New Zealand soil.
Which brings me to this....
I have decided to start a travel blog called "Anywhere But Here"
(click those cute pink letters above)

I figured that we could use this blog for the everyday magic and the other one for vacay magic, no? I also thought it would be really cool to not only document our travels, but the travels of our family and friends, too. So, if you have a big holiday coming up or just came back from one and wanna share, we would love to see them...just forward them onto my email and I will hook it up! Or....I will give you the secret codes and you can blog it up your self!

Or...if you have nothing going on, have a sit and give the travel blog a read and drop some love on it.

You guys are the best!
Hugs!
xx

“For my part, I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel’s sake. The great affair is to move.” – Robert Louis Stevenson

Here We Go!

2009-10-28T15:26:00.000-07:00

I have officially booked my ticket to New Zealand! I'm so excited that I could barely sleep last night. The countdown has begun, friends,

3 8 D A Y S !!

My dad has a little less time on his countdown clock than that as he will arrive a few days before Michael and I do.
I'm so freakin excited!
and yes, true to my mom's form, I have already started my packing list...but my dad seems to have one upped me on this because he actually packed his ENTIRE suitcase, plus all of his other miscellaneous, extraneous nonsense known as his second piece of luggage.
We are pretty much ready to jump on that plane right now.
My mom has taught us well.

"Those who say you cant take it with you, never saw a car packed for a vacation trip."

.......or our luggage.

hugs
xx

You Say It's Your Birthday....

2009-10-16T10:41:00.000-07:00

Today, is my cousin Jennifer's birthday. I am lucky enough to have her not only as my blood relative, but also my best friend. She is also an amazing mother, devoted wife, loving sister and daughter, crazy niece and awesome cousin.
Growing up, we got in all kinds of trouble together...double trouble as my mom referred to us. Oooo weee! Okay, I'm lying...she called us bitches! hahaha! Always the truth teller.
Anyway, I feel very very lucky to have Jenna in my life....she completes me and she is the other half of my brain...if I'm thinking of something, chances are, she is too.
Tonight we are going to the casino for some yummy buffet eating and gambling...so please wish her a happy birthday, but also, please send out positive vibes for us so that we all win big at the slots! Woo-Whooo!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNIFER DENISE!

Shes on the installment plan now...Uncle Nick is hooking her up with a cane and next year she will be on the walker. Shes an old woman now, so be gentle with her when you see her.

hugs
xx

Aotearoa

2009-10-03T12:02:00.000-07:00

Ahhh...so the countdown has begun, my friends...a little less than two months until we touch down in The Land of The Long White Cloud, aka my mom's favorite place, aka New Zealand, aka Magic Land. I am so thankful because, boy, do I need a break...it will be nice to be in the place of my dads birth, where we have tons of family and friends...I can't wait to dig my feet into the soil and feel the Earth.
It's definitely not going to be all fun and games and ticky touring...we have loads and loads of work to do on the new house...and I have officially become my dad's slave.
Until next time my friends....

Hugs
xx

That was the big effect Lord of the Rings had on me. It was discovering New Zealand. And even more precious were the people- not at all like the Australians.
Ian McKellan

2009-09-16T12:59:00.000-07:00

Today marks five months since my mom's passing. Not a second goes by that I don't think of her, wish that she was here, feel her presence, laugh at ourselves and the nonsense we used to get into...

She is always on my mind and the forefront of everything that I say and I do. I always think...well how would my mom do this, or handle this or what would she say? I find myself almost channeling her in a way.
I got the greatest compliment from my cousin, Jenna the other day, she said " You remind me so much of Aunt Karan." It made my day.

I love you and miss you so much...more than yesterday and only half as much as tomorrow. My light for you will shine always.
xoxo forever.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. ~Kahlil Gibran

Strength and Hope

2009-09-16T10:02:00.000-07:00

I want to keep this simple because I would rather you spend your time reading this:

www.helpjessicaandsofia.com

Its a blog/website written by Greg Norris , husband of a girl, now woman, that I grew up with. Jessica recently delivered a baby girl, Sofia Grace, in her fifth month of pregnancy. Please read their story and send out all of the love, strength, hope, million claps, prayers and all of that other good ju-ju that you guys are so good at, to this family...they could really use our support.

www.helpjessicaandsofia.com

“Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark.”

George Iles

The Boy With Sunshine In His Eyes

2009-09-08T09:53:00.000-07:00

This little fella's name is Steven Marcus and I am almost certain that he was born with a pickle in one hand and a bag of Cheetos in the other.
Today he is turning 22 years old and I just cannot believe it. I remember him at this age like it was, well, not yesterday, but certainly not 20 years ago.
He was a pretty funny little baby and he has grown into a very funny little man...and happy. He is by far the happiest person in our family and he could quiet possibly be the happiest person I have ever known...and it shows in his eyes. They shine so brightly with love, wonder and pure happiness that you just cant help but feel what he radiates.
So, please join me in wishing him a very

H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y !!

Ready. Set. Hike!

2009-08-25T11:29:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, every one's favorite 8 year old, Kion, played his very first game of the football season...actually, his first football game, period. They were the darned cutest things you have ever seen...they even had little 8 year old cheerleaders! The Might Mite Otay Ranch Broncos played against the Eastlake something or others (oops! sorry little team, I haven't any idea what your team name was) and the game ended in a 6-6 tie. Good job little buddies!
Keep on chugging along defensive end #4!
We are so proud of you!

“For me, winning isn't something that happens suddenly on the field when the whistle blows and the crowds roar. Winning is something that builds physically and mentally every day that you train and every night that you dream.” Emmitt Smith

You Say It's Your Birthday?

2009-08-17T12:46:00.000-07:00

Hey friends...
Yesterday we went to Knott's Soak City in celebration of the big guys 8th birthday!
I can't believe 8 years has gone by so quickly...amazing.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KION!

we all know who loves you best...but i love you mostest.
xo

here are a few pictures from yesterday at the water park....you will notice that there are very few of the birthday boy...im not sure that he ever even got got out of the water once yesterday. we all really had a great time celebrating his birthday with him.

hugs
xx

PLeas'd look forward, pleas'd to look behind,
And count each birthday with a grateful mind. - Alexander Pope

Faith is what will sustain us.

2009-07-13T13:12:00.000-07:00

Hi friends...
As we know, life presents great obstacles for us and I am in the place in life where I am trying with all of my might to rely on my strength, courage and faith to sustain me in whatever is thrown at me, because in the end, that is what will keep me holding fast.
I write this blog today with a heavy heart...
for those of you who may or may not know, my Grandfather, was diagnosed with prostate and bladder canser a little over three years ago.
We received word last night that his treatments are no longer working and the doctors are stopping any further treatment.
As I am struggling to wade through the grief of losing my mom, I am now preparing to say goodbye to my darling Grandfather, the man who gave my mom life.
So, please, I am asking you for your support once again in praying that he has a safe and painless flight home and that God continues to help guide me and family through these difficult times.
And though it may seem weird, I am finding great comfort in knowing that he will soon be safe at home with my momma.

please dont be offended when I say that I fucking hate canser.

Its a Sunshine Day

2009-07-11T15:42:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone...I hope you all enjoyed your Fourth of Joo-Lie! We had a pretty good time...good food, Kiddie Pool swimmin, Beer Pong, family and a little MJ dance party in the kitchen.

I hope that you are all enjoying your summer...or winter...whatever the case may be.
I have been spending quite a bit of time at the beach lately and really enjoying it...its like a mini vacay. Although, I must say that last week my cousin Emily and I fried ourselves and she is still feeling a bit miserable from its effects.
And yes, for those who are wondering, we did use sunscreen and there was even an umbrella involved...but we were no match against the ferociously burning hot rays of the sun.

Alright my friends...I'm off to enjoy the rest of the gorgeous day!

hugs
xx

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. ~James Dent

Three Cheers for the Red White And Blue

2009-07-04T10:33:00.000-07:00

Today is the day that we celebrate America's Independence...
otherwise known as another reason to Par-Tayyy.
The beaches and parks are usually littered with grockels, tourists, and kooks...so we are going down to Chula to my cousins house to partake in her husbands glorious cooking and maybe play a drinking game or two because it is the 4th of July after all.

For those of you who don't know, this festive and very American holiday was my moms favorite, so please join us in celebrating in this day with the same zest and fervor and she always did.

Now lets all do what comes before Part B.....

lets Part-A!!

Have a safe and

H A P P Y F O U R T H O F J U L Y !!

You Say It's Your Birthday

2009-06-29T11:19:00.000-07:00

It's his birthday too!

Everyone please join me on this day in wishing my amazing big brother a very

H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y !!

MDF

2009-06-25T11:43:00.000-07:00

H A P P Y

19th B I R T H D A Y!!

Lots and lots of love to you and good luck at your game today!

Socks and Ties

2009-06-21T10:42:00.000-07:00

Today is the day that we traditionally honor our fathers, you know, the "if mom says no there's always dad" guy, the one who lets us eat ice cream and cookies for breakfast when mom is away, the one who stays up late with us and watches scary movies, the one who teaches us how to handle money and change our oil, the guy who takes us fishing and "helps" reel in our big catch, the one who stands by your side and holds your hand when you're scared and lost.

Ahh dads are pretty awesome...and they deserve to be treated like the bit of stardust magic that they are every single day, not just the third Sunday in June...so, get up and hug your dad and if he doesn't live close enough, call him and hug him through the phone.

“Any man can be a Father but it takes someone special to be a dad.” -Anne Geddes

They say that from the instant he lays eyes on her, a father adores his daughter. Whoever she grows up to be, she is always to him that little girl in pigtails. She makes him feel like Christmas. In exchange, he makes a secret promise not to see the awkwardness of her teenage years, the mistakes she makes or the secrets she keeps.

Tick Tock

2009-06-17T10:34:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the 2 month anniversary of my moms passing...its so interesting how the lead up to the day actually inspires more anxiety than the actual day. We all did alright yesterday, although I will say for myself that I woke up this morning really feeling the sting of her absence...so I'm not really going to elaborate anymore or poke around...I'm just going to get to the point here because, well, I said so.

Anywho-skoo, my cousin Jennifer decided that she would commemorate the day by getting her memorial tattoo for my momma. This her very first tattoo, and most likely her last...it came out gorgeous and she was a very brave girl.

So, here is a photo, my friends...I hope you enjoy it more than Jennifer enjoyed getting it.

"Be still and know that I am with you."
English proverb

The New Adventures of Little Miss

2009-06-13T12:24:00.000-07:00

Today we are graced with the presence of a brand new lovely baby girl, whose smile is sure break some hearts.
She was born around 7am on Saturday June 13Th, weighing 8lbs and 10oz.
Congratulations Katie and Bubba!

I cant wait to hide her under my jacket and run away with her!

Welcome to the world, Miss Ryen Myah!

Pog Ma Thoin

2009-06-10T21:40:00.000-07:00

Hey little buddies...
Well, I think we made it through yesterday relatively unscathed, but not unscarred. I spent four got damn hours in the tattoo chair to get my moms memorial tattoo. Before I show you the photos, I am just going to warn you that it is large and in charge. I was actually really terrified
( I'm not gonna lie) to come home and show my dad, I thought he would be upset, but he seems to really like it.
So, here are a few photos for your viewing pleasure...
see if you can spot the korus...

"Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever"

— Lance Armstrong

June 9,

2009-06-09T11:10:00.000-07:00

Hi friends...
Today is my mommas birthday. She would have been 56 today and it makes me wonder what she would have called this birthday...I'm thinking 56 and sassy.
Today, like any other day, I'm doing my best to shine on for her and make her proud...but, I am about to leave to go get my memorial tattoo for her and I'm not so sure how stoke she would be...hahaha!
No, she is gonna love love it!
When I get back this evening I will post some photos of it.

So, today, my friends, please raise your glass of whatever you are drinking, water, beer, wine, cherry coke, and toast my mom, her life and her love.

Dang, I love that little chick!

Love and Laughter
xo

On This Date in History...

2009-05-27T10:29:00.000-07:00

1328 - French king Philip VI Valois crowned
1844 - Samuel F.B. Morse completes 1st telegraph line
1919 - Charles Strite patents pop-up toaster
1930 - Richard Drew invents masking tape
1936 - RMS Queen Mary leaves Southampton for NY on maiden voyage
1942- Dorie Miller, awarded Navy cross for deeds at Pearl Harbor
1959-Nicholas Crichton, born in New Zealand

MAY 27TH BIRTHDAYS

1867: Arnold Bennett, English novelist
1897: John Cockcroft, English nuclear physicist
1911: Vincent Price, American film actor
1922: Christopher Lee, British born film actor
1923: Henry Kissinger, American politician
1936: Lou Gossett Jr, American film actor
1959: Nicholas Crichton, New Zealand dad, husband, uncle, brother, son, friend, pesterer

Today is the 147th day of the year
There are 25 days until summer

So...if you see this fella running around town today, be sure to wish him a big fat

H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y !!!

Its tough being the big Five-Oh...so if he is carrying groceries when you see him, give him a hand.

hugs
xx

One Month Ago Today

2009-05-16T10:36:00.000-07:00

One month ago today I lost my best friend, my heart and my soul.
I watched as she slowly slipped right through my fingers and I felt so powerless, unable to stop time or to heal her.
One month ago today the world became a little darker and although I am doing the best that I can to illuminate the path to insure that her sparkle never fades, I am struggling.
My head knows that she is never coming back, my heart just wont let me believe it.
There are so many memories that I still want to make with her and so many things that I wish I would have told her.
I wish I would have told her proud of her I am, how I admire her strength and courage, how much her life and her love meant to me, and how she is the definition of grace...and when I grow up, if I am only HALF of the person that she was, then I will be a lucky, lucky girl.
I miss her her more than yesterday and half as much as tomorrow.

I will carry you with me forever and always.
xo

Just The Facts, Ma'am

2009-05-15T17:49:00.000-07:00

Today my cousin Ashley and I decided to take a little trip to the beauty supply and color our hair.
To my surprise, amazement and deep pleasure we saw this display for a new nail polish color called "Breathe Life" by OPI. Its a very interesting shimmery blue color...definitely not something I would normally wear, however, the proceeds for the sale of these little blue polishes go directly to The Lung Cancer Foundation of America, so I snatched one up and I suggest that you do the same.
I cant even tell you how much this made my day and my mom would have been so pleased.
Its so nice to see a very well known company bring this issue and this specific cancer into the light!

Please go check it out!

http://www.opi.com/

Scroll down to the bottom and click on the Lung Cancer link.
Hugs to you
xx

All You Need Is Love

2009-05-12T09:47:00.001-07:00

Everyday, my cousins continue to amaze me. They have been graceful, kind, loving and a great source of my strength through the most difficult time in my life. I am so proud of each and everyone one of them and I beam with love and pride when I think of them. They truly are the greatest bunch of kids and its a privilege and honor to call them my friends as well...
My mom loved Jennifer, Ashley, Mikey, Emily and lil Steven unconditionally, individually and with her whole heart. When you are loved this way, with no limits and no boundaries, you have no choice but to love that way right back. We are the luckiest bunch of kids to be loved in that way...and we are so lucky that we all have each other to lean on...through each and every one of us, my mom and her love will live on forever and forever.

"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares."

Stating The Obvious

2009-05-10T14:20:00.000-07:00

Today, my friends, is Mother's Day...and it goes without saying that this is a very difficult day for me...I mean, everyday is but it's even harder today.
I know that I should be celebrating the fact that I have the most amazing mom, but its just bittersweet and it stings a whole heck of alot.
I really do appreciate all of your support today and as everyone says I'm sure it will get easier with time. Although, I cant imagine that it will...but we shall see...I'm willing to try anything.

That being said, there is another important and very painful day coming up soon...my mom's birthday. June 9Th to be exact. I have already set about making a plan for myself on this day.
I'm getting a tattoo! haha. amazing.
Its actually going to be a tribute slash memorial tattoo for my momma-san and it will be glorious.
As soon as it is finished I promise to upload photos of it.
There are already a few tribute ones floating around here in my family (my cousin Steven got "Pog-Ma-Thoin" tattooed right upon his arse and my Aunt Nancy got a pretty little Koru on her back)...and my cousin Ashley is getting hers on Thursday.
Alright, that's enough rambling for today...and I'm sorry if I appear to be a bitter bug...but I am kinda.
haha.
Now, go call your mom and tell her that you love her and if she is no longer with us on this Earth then make sure that you shout it out to the heavens!

Love to love you
xx

The Cat is Outta The Bag

2009-05-07T16:13:00.000-07:00

So, apparently, people still do read this here blog...and by people I am also including my dad.
Yep, you guessed it.
He read it.
And unfortunately, this plan is no longer in action. I'm sorry. It was such a good one...but I jumped the gun and he just isn't ready for it, ya know?
I cant say that I would be much up for celebrating if it were my birthday coming up.
BUT, you only turn 50 once and my mom would have been so pleased that he was doing this...
oh well, maybe we will have a 51 and holding party next year.
Thanks for offering to join in the festivities.
I do look forward to celebrating my birthday New Zealand style at the end of the year with everyone single one of you.
and by celebrating, well, you know what I mean.
So, save your pennies all of you American kids...we've got some Kazza love to spread in New Zealand come December!

hugs
xx

Shhh....It's A Surprise

2009-05-03T12:52:00.000-07:00

Oh Shoot!
So, my dad is turning the FIVE-OH this May 27Th.
Sometime in February or March, my mom and I were talking about his big day and the kind of things that she would would like to do for him and one of those things was a flight in a bi-plane.
For those of you who haven't any idea what a bi-plane is here is a photo:

Cool huh? I think so too! My mom is a genius!
Now here is my idea:
On Saturday May 23rd, I would like to throw a surprise party for him complete with a ride in a bi-plane.
And here is where you all come in:
I was wondering if any of you would like to contribute to this in any way, this way it could be like a collective birthday gift....
I haven't booked the flight quite yet so I have no idea what time we will plan the party, but as soon as I know, I will definitely let you all know.
I was also thinking that we could make the party portion of the day, a potluck.
and maybe while my dad are out doing his bi-plane thing all of you could show up and surprise him...hopefully we wont scare the pants off of him.

I have no idea if any of you are even still reading this blog anymore, but if you are could you please reply here in the comment section or email me (beondbrat@yahoo.com)
and let me know whether of not you are interested? Please don't email my parents as this is a SURPRISE & I don't want him finding out!!
Also, I wanted to let you all know that we are doing okay ish...as well as to be expected I suppose...
and I wanted to let you know that I will be carrying on with this blog,updating you about our lives and all other sorts of things...plus I just cant bear to let this blog just float on into outer space.

Alright, enough for now....

dont forget to email me or comment me or call me about the big FIVE - OH!!

Lots of love and hugs
xx

A Day Late And A Few Bucks Short

2009-04-29T21:12:00.000-07:00

Hi Friends...I just wanted to drop in...a few days late, mind you....and say a big old stinkin fat

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY TO ASHLEY !!!!

As for the rest of us, we are hanging in there...
thanks to all of you for being who you are.

hugs
xx

Life Or Something Like It

2009-04-27T10:08:00.000-07:00

Well, everyone, here we are at day 11, no better and no worse for the wear. My dad and I are having a difficult time of it and feel a little lost without our best friend to guide us. However, we do find some comfort in all of our amazing family and friends.
I just want to thank all of you who have sent flowers and cards and notes and food and hugs and love and support.
Keep em coming...we are only just at the very beginning of our new awkward life and have such a long way to go.

Thanks again for all of the love and support and thank you for being so supportive of my mom during her journey with canser.

We love all of you forever.

hugs
xx

Please Sign Our Guest Book

2009-04-20T10:03:00.000-07:00

Hi Friends...
We have set up an online guest book for my mom....so turn on, tune in and please, please drop some love.

http://www.tributes.com/obituary/show/Karan-Sue-Crichton-Encinitas-CA-2009/85750865

Love and laughter,
Michelle and Nick

I Havent Any Words...

2009-04-18T09:39:00.000-07:00

For those of you who may or may not know,
unfortunately, my mom passed away on Thursday April 16.
Iam devasted and absolutely heartbroken...
Words cannot even begin to express the sorrow that we are feeling...she was everything to us and she will be missed forever.

Please help us come celebrate her life Friday April 24th at 2pm at the El Camino Mortuary in Encinitas, with a party @ my parents house to follow.
Everyone is welcome...

We are asking for donations, in lieu of flowers, to help set up a foundation in my mom's name to help other people with canser.
Also, another quick thing I forgot to add on my mom's myspace...as a family we aren't wearing black, as requested by my mom...feel free to wear some color also!

Thanks for all of your love and support throughout our journey....

hugs to all
xx

Vegimite, Tasty Cheese, Pixies and a Brand New Dad

2009-04-03T12:00:00.000-07:00

First off, let me apologize to all of you faithful followers and lovers of my mom. I have really been lacking in my blogging duties. I am going to try to keep up a little better with this thing from now on.
So, my dad made it home safe and sound on Sunday and those two were just ecstatic to see each other! Too cute! He brought us all of kinds of treats, hence the title of the blog.
And, for those of you who are wondering who the brand new dad is, it's Nick...I'm getting adopted! 25 years later...but who's counting?
How freakin cool is that! Now he will really be my pops! I think it's funny and cute...who gets adopted at the ripe old age of 34? Me! That's who!
And now on to my mom...
Let's see...she had her CT Scan on Monday and we should get the results next week or the week after during the pre-chemo visit. Keep your little fingers crossed that all goes well and the scans are clean, clean, clean.
She got to go to chemo on Wednesday and she was so happy about that! Who knew, in what world would we ever be excited to go to chemo?
She also has gotten back on Decadron, which is anti-inflammatory. This is to help prevent any swelling that is caused by the scar tissue that is leftover in her brain from the old tumors. This should help with some of the motor skill issues that she has been having since the seizures.
It has just dawned on me that some of you may not know that she had 2 seizures...I cant remember if I blogged about it or not.
Well, she had two seizures...both on Friday the Thirteenths. They believe that they may have been caused by the chemo irritating the scar tissue...this is where the Decadron is going to come in relieve some of the swelling I was talking about.
Other than that, all is good in the 'hood. We are happy to have my dad back, the sun is shining, and my mom is feeling better than last week!

So, that's it in a nutshell...or a blog as the case may be.

Please keep all of that good ju-ju coming!

oh and for those of you haven't seen The Survivor Movie.... do it! Watch it...it's amazing!
Here's the link:
http://www.thesurviormovie.com/

also, if you any of you want to check out this really cool book that my darling friend Austin recommended, you should do that too.

"Help Me Live: 20 Things People with Cancer Want You to Know (Paperback)by Lori Hope"

okay...that's all for now....

hugs and love
xx

"Those who bring sunshine intot he lives of others cannot keep it from themselves."
James M. Barrie

Alas...No Chemo

2009-03-25T17:21:00.000-07:00

Heya friends....as you can see from the title of my post, there was no chemo today for my little buddy.
Judy, the nurse from Dr. P's office called this morning to say no chemo...blood platelets are too low.
Rats!
and boy, was she bummed!
Hopefully the platelets will be back up and running in good order for next week!
Keep those...oh, you know what to do!

Sending out some very special birthday love from America all the way to New Zealand for Bazza!
Happy Birthday fella! Sorry my mom missed your birthday...there is always next year!

Loads of love and hugs
xx

"Every blade of grass has its angel who bends over it and whispers, 'Grow, grow'"
--The Talmud

Walking On Sunshine

2009-03-24T16:47:00.000-07:00

What a glorious, gorgwous amazingly beautiful sunshiney day we are having today!
Ahhh...its so nice and it does wonders for the soul!
Nothing big going on really today...went for CBC/Chem Panel...this is the blod test thats taken the day before chemo to insure that all of my mom's blood levels are up and ready.
We also had a big outting at Walmart do get some meds and such. My mom did get a wee bit tired while we were there, but she did good and it was really the first day out in quiet a long time.
SO, if all goes well, tomorrow will be Day Three of Round Two.
I have no doubts that everything will be good to go tomorrow.
Umm...lets see what else?
Oh!
My mom goes for another CT Scan on march 30th. Fo rthose of you who dont remember, the CT Scan is the scan that checks everthing form the neck to the pelvis and shows how the canser ISNT doing.
So, friends, keep your fingers, toes and eyes crossed that the blasted canser is vacating the building.
Goodbye canser, dont let the door hit you on the ass on the way out!
And on another note, my dad will be home on Sunday!
We are very excited...but Im sad...I've got to gather up all of my junk and move back to my own house! :(
and I really haven't a clue as to what I will do with myself in the evenings...haha.
My cousin Ashley says that maybe we will go back to our old habits...window shopping for hours at Target.
Alright friends, thats all Ive got for now....
remember, keep the postive energy, laughter, love and prayers coming!

hugs to all
xx

Its Update Time

2009-03-17T18:24:00.000-07:00

Hi friends!
So, just wanted to give you a quick little update...
Unfortunately, my mom had another seizure on Friday...if you are keeping track of the date, it was Friday the Thirteenth...sheesh!
We called 911 again and off we went via ambulance to the ER.
They did all of the regular tests, blood, CAT scan, and that reflex pushy thing and yes, that's the technical name for...look it up. ;)
After a few hours, yes, hours, they told us that there wasn't anything new that was showing up on the CAT Scan and nothing new on or in her brain...thank god!
The ER doctor said that basically it was most likely a reaction to the chemo and prescribed her another anti-seizure medication call Kepro. This will basically act as a backup for the other anti-seizure medication that she already takes, Dilantin.
I think that I should take a little break here and explain what the seizure is...I'm afraid that you are reading this thinking its something like you see in the movies.
I will reassure you that this is not the case. It looks more like an intense muscle spasm...she is fully coherent, awake and talking...its just that her left leg and arm shake like a spasm.
Its definitely scary, I'm not gonna lie, but its not full-on like the movies.

So, today, we went to see Dr. Paroly just because of what happened on Friday and to ask some questions.
Canser and seizures and all of this tends be a little confusing...to say the least.
Anyway, he pretty much agreed with the ER doctor. He has decided that he is going to up the dosage of Decadron, which is the anti-inflammatory that goes into bag one during chemo.
Dr. Paroly thinks that should do the trick.
Keep your fingers crossed on that!
Lets see...what else can I update you on?
Day 8, Round 2 chemo starts tomorrow.

And aside from everything else...we are good...my mom is very tired....but good.

Keep keeping those fingers crossed, prayers coming, candles lighting, million claps clapping, positive thoughts and healing light reverberating through the universe!
We cherish and love all of you!

hugs
xx

"We cannot hold a torch to light another’s path without brightening our own."

Ben Sweetland

TLE
FYL

Day One, Cycle Two

2009-03-10T22:29:00.000-07:00

Hi friends...just a quick note before I run off to bed...
tomorrow is day one of cycle two...8.40am!!! sheesh!
As we learned last time, this day can be a bit of a doozy...I just hope it isn't as rough as last time.
However, the rest of the cycle went really well, which makes tomorrow a wee bit easier.
Send out some good juju that it doesn't knock my mom down as bad as last time...if you wouldn't mind.
And keep on sending out all of that other amazing stuff to the universe that you have been...good juju, claps, healing prayers, light and love...lets kick cansers ass!
goodnight, hugs and as always, loads and loads of love to all of you!

xx

"Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone; therefore, we are saved by love."
Reinbold Niebuhr

Daylight Savings Time!! Woo-Who!

2009-03-08T18:14:00.000-07:00

We, here at Casa Crichton love, love, love Daylight Savings Time! Its one step closer to summer!
Well, there isn't much going on here at the moment...however, tomorrow is CBC Blood test day, then Tuesday is Pre-chemo visit, and then Wednesday is Day one of Cycle 2. This is the one that is a little rough if you all remember from last month. The rest of this week will be a very quiet and sleepy week...well, after Wednesday anyway.
So keep your fingers crossed that it goes smoothly and a little less rough this week.

In the meantime, watch this movie....
www.thesurvivormovie.com

It is sooo awesome!

Thanks, as always, for all of the love and support and prayers and cookies and hugs and laughter and claps! Keep em comin!

ps...Shazza is home and doing well.

hugs
xx

"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Hey There! Hi There! Ho There!

2009-03-03T12:24:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to drop in and say heya! All is well here. My mom is feeling wonderful, although she is beginning to show signs of Cabin Fever.
Since my dad isn't around right now, we are taking turns spending the night with her...Michael and I stay one night, then Ashley stays the next night. Tonight is Ashley's turn and I think even Mikey Dean is coming up from LA to bounce in on the slumber party!
It has also been nice cooking the dinners. Its like family night every night, everyone makes sure that they are "home" by 5.30 pm and we usually eat around 6.30pm. This is quiet a "new' thing for me as I haven't had a regular dinner hour since I lived at home at least 15 years ago! OMG! wow. I am oooollllld!!!
Tonight we are having Asian night! Shrimp Gyoza, Egg rolls and Vegetable Stir-Fry. Yumm.

Alright, We are outta here, friends...its time to grocery shop.

Thanks for all of the food, love, support, laughter and thoughts.
Keep the positive energy a-flowin our way!

and speaking of positve energy....
please send out some healing vibes for my mom's dear friend, Shazza (Sharon). SHe isnt feling well and is currently in hospital.
Get well soon Shazza....Kazza is sending loads of love to you!

hugs
xx

"An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere, while a pessimist sees only the red stoplight...The truly wise person is color-blind."
Albert Schweitzer

Well La-Ti-Dah.

2009-02-21T11:20:00.000-08:00

Hey yo!
Just wanted to let you know that my mom is doing just superbly. After that bout with the "day one" chemo, she has been feeling great, looking great, and eating great. We are currently on the path to fattening her up a bit. She has lost quiet a bit of weight so we have been eating bacon sandos, loads of snacks and ice cream galore! She complains about not wanting to "get fat again" but I think shes secretly enjoying it! I, on the hand, am not. I do not need to gain anymore weight, thank you very much...but as it goes, I eat what she eats...well, except for the ice cream...that where I draw the line.
So, we are all just hanging out, doing fabulously. Michael and I trade off spending the night at my mom's place with my cousin Ashley (Some of you may or may not know that my dad went to NZ and since the "seizure" my mom is really allowed to be alone) and that has been really fun.

Speaking of fun, my mom, Michael and I went to Sarah's birthday/dinner party last night and had a blast!
THE BIRTHDAY GIRL

My mom even stayed up til 11pm! That's just wack-a-do..she didn't even stay up that late in her pre-canser life!

I don't think we will be doing it up like that tonight, but we are planning on making a big ol yummy dinner and watching some movies.
Alright friends, I hope that you enjoy the rest of your weekend!
as I sign off, my mom is up and flittering about the house, dusting and cleaning.

and as always,
thanks for everything that all of you and for being who you are!

hugs
x to the oh!

"The time you enjoying wasting is not wasted time."
Bertrand Russell

This post is dedicated to my cousins Steven, Emily and Jennifer who lost their Papa yesterday.
He lived and loved for 87 long, happy and fulfilled years!
as my cousin Emily says: Heaven has gained a beautiful angel.
xo

Optimism is the foundation of courage.

2009-02-16T11:13:00.000-08:00

Hey guys...sorry that I have been lacking in the update department and I wish that I had better news for this here update, but I don't. Unfortunately, my mom suffered what the doctors are calling a "seizure" on Friday...yeah, Friday the Thirteenth...oh the irony.
Here is the story in my mom's own words:

I had a new chemo (I think I may have said that before) on Wednesday. Woo it sort of took it's toll on me (8:40 am to 2:30 pm) long day. By the time I got back I was exhausted. I pretty much slept all of Thursday.Then on Friday about half the day I had a tremor (some might call it a seizure but very small only but one none the less.I was in the ER with my darlings Nick Michelle and Ashley. The have told the DMV to take my license away (that is only far)..ahah I am feeling better now but still really tired that is why I have not answered any comments or mail.
Please keep good thoughts and prayers.
Kazza

We don't really know much more than that. She has an appointment with a Neurologist sometime this week and we will let you know what they say.

Please keep sending the claps, laughter, love, hugs, prayers, healing light and positive vibes.

as always, hugs all the way round,
xx

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." ~Ambrose Redmoon

Round One

2009-02-11T21:55:00.000-08:00

Hi Friends...
this, like the one from this morning is going to be quick because I am a tired worker bee. Round One of the new chemo went well today although it was very long. So the new schedule is one day a week for roughly five hours, for four weeks then one week off then new cycle starts again. This is a six month course of treatment.
As for the actual treatment today it went really well...my mom even ate lunch while doing chemo!
So awesome!
keep sending out all of the love, good vibes, healing energy our way.
im off to bed...im a sleepy little buddy
hugs
xx

Real Quick Like

2009-02-11T07:30:00.000-08:00

First of all Thanks you so much for your support. Please, Please keep it coming.
I just wanted to let you know that today is the first day of chemo. Im in a hurry so I cant chat...but please send out some positive vibes, clapping hands, rays of love and healing light today for my mom.
hugs xx

Love and Laughter

2009-02-02T22:24:00.000-08:00

Well, we went to the doctor today and unfortunately we did not receive good news. We were actually quite shocked...
I'm going to let my mom explain it to you via note she left on myspace:

"went to the doctor today and it seems that the cancer has moved out of my lungs and into my lymph nodes. i have to start taking another chemo drug(from Japan)in around 2weeks because I have become immune to the one i have been taking and my platelets need to bump up again.So needless to say my new zealand trip has been canceled but i am making nick go anyway.I am bummed about it all but feel I have to stay here and give it one more good go.I love you all and just keep up those good thoughts and prayers.
Love and laughter,
Karan"

So, friends, if you wouldn't mind breaking out those healing vibes, positive thoughts, million claps and what ever it was that you all had been doing, I would really appreciate it.

hugs
xx

How Dee Doo Dee

2009-01-30T14:36:00.000-08:00

So sorry that I have been absent lately...its nothing personal..its me, not you. Hardee har har.
Just playing...the real reason that I haven't been blogging it up is very very simple. I have nothing to say really...my mom is doing supremely, her blood tests have been becoming much less frequent, shes feeling great, looking great and her hair is even starting to sprout. So, I guess that's not really "nothing"...that's pretty big actually.
Okay...also I must say that I lied...hopefully I wont be struck down...My mom has had CT Scan since I last blogged! Egads! Sorry people, sorry. It was on Wednesday, as in two days ago. She will get the test results on Monday when we go for the pre-chemo visit, which is now known as "The Last Chemo Day" also known as "The Celebration Day".
My mom is scheduled to start chemo this coming Monday, I mean Tuesday, but chances are she wont. Her cycle was scheduled for 21 days, but generally her counts are too low to start, so she goes for the 28 day regimen.
And, no, we don't have the results for the MRI either, maybe we will get them on Monday...who knows.
Well, friends...I hope you enjoy your weekend!

loads and loads of hugs
xx

I've got two side notes here:
I learned last night of the passing of my dear Canadian friend, Carrie Belair. If you are all are so inclined, please send out some healing light to her husband and 6 boys. I think they need it.
She was a special, special lady and my life is that much better for having known her.
xxoo

and on a happier note:
Do you all remember a few months back when I mentioned that a good family friend was having a baby? Well, they just found out that they are having a girl! Congrats to Matt (Bubba) and Katie Foss! Please send some healing vibes out to him...and maybe some money...hes gonna need it for the pony that she'll want for her fourth birthday!
xx
"When I open my eyes and look at the wide world, I become great; when I close my eyes and look within, I become greater still. "

— Hazrat Inayat Khan

The Road That Unfolds Before Us

2009-01-20T10:08:00.000-08:00

We just finished watching the swearing in and the speech of the 44th President of the United States of America! Wow, we are inspired!
Today, for the first time in a long time, we are so proud to be American and see the future in a new and different shining light...we are so excited about the changes to come as this new road unfolds before us.
Our nation is grave trouble, with states going bankrupt, men and women losing their jobs and homes, financial institutions folding... it is up to us to embrace the
new promise that lays before us and it is our responsibility to help make the change.

"That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.

These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land — a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.

Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America — they will be met.

On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.

We remain a young nation, but in the words of scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness."...

"Let it be told to the future world ... that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive...that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet (it)."

"America, in the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations."

Medi-Port, Port of Call, Port-a Vallerta?

2009-01-14T12:42:00.000-08:00

So, we just finished day two of chemo cycle 8. Everything is on the up and up...my mom is doing good, feeling good, looking good...all of the girls at chemo just raved about how spectacular she looked yesterday.
The Medi-port is holding strong and working like a champ...
here is a photo of a fully loaded port.

On the days during chemo, they leave the needle in so they don't have to re-poke her everyday. they cover it all up with tape and whatnot and send her on her way. However, on any other day, it lays flat and you cant even see it.
Pretty cool.
Alright, my mom is just antsy pansty to get to Target. Now you know she is feelin just fine.
We will try to check in again with ya'll tomorrow.

On a side note: We found out this afternoon that our friend, Chemo Mike passed away just before Christmas. Apparently his PICC line had gotten infected, which led to a blood infection, which led to kidney failure and other organ failure.
We are, to say the least, devastated.
We miss you, Mike.

hugs
xx

When I open my eyes and look at the wide world, I become great; when I close my eyes and look within, I become greater still.

— Hazrat Inayat Khan

Feliz Ano Neuvo!

2009-01-05T12:01:00.000-08:00

Hello friends....here we are one week into the new year and feeling fine. Life is good!
Life is so good...I hope that you all enjoyed yourselves during the holidays and didn't overcelebrate yourselves into the new year. And well, if you did, i hope that drank a few or three for us!
Alright, so as most of you know, my mom got some new hair for Christmas!

Don't she just look like smokin aces?! She thinks she looks real cute too!

Half of the people that we've been seeing for months on end, don't even recognize her anymore! I really think the wig has done wonders for her self esteem as well as her mental state...shes even more rockin now than ever before!
And speaking of rockin...check this out...
today we went for the pre-chemo visit. A quick refresher, pre-chemo visit is the doctors appointment the day BEFORE the start of of chemo. This is when Dr. Paroly tells my mom how the blood is doing, how the organs are doing and so and so forth. Unfortunately, there will be no chemo tomorrow. Boo. But that's okay, she will do chemo next week...and anyway, the news that we got today cancels out the bad news of no chemo.
Get ready my friends, hang onto your hats, glasses and wigs....first of all, ( and honestly, according to my mom, the best news) Dr. Paroly gave her the A-OK to go to New Zealand AS SOON as she finishes her last chemo! She can even go for two whole months! Once her told her this, i think she just shut off the rest of her listening ears and started daydreaming of clean, fresh, warm air, fishing, big wide open skies, Bryce's famous Thai food, and laughing with all of the great friends that she has in good ol NZ! She is now counting down the days until she can get on the plane and take a break! I cant say that I blame her. This is the ONE thing that she has been really praying for since her diagnosis...to be able to get back to the place the she and my dad love most in the world.
So, this is really great news, right? Well, hang on there because what I'm about to tell you is going to rock your world!
My mom asked Dr. P about the whole lung aeration thing that he had mentioned during the last visit. If you all recall, he told my mom that her lung had reaerrated itself, popped back up and she sound clear as a whistle. So, today, I think she just wanted some confirmation that this was still the truth. He told her that not only had her lung aerated and plumped back up, but when they looked at the CT Scan, there wasn't any sign of the tumor or canser!
I will kindly repeat that for you:
He said that there wasn't any sign of the tumor or canser!
Pull out your party hats and bull horns! Feel free to shout it out from the rooftops!
Isn't that just the most amazing news ever?! I don't think its quite registered with my mom just yet, as I said above, she is just so excited with he news of going to New Zealand...that this news just blew right over her wig..er, head.
Okay, my cup has runeth over...I am overjoyed...I'm welling up with emotion...I am so freakin excited and I just want to get off this dang ol blog so that you can all read the good news!
I would absolutely LOVE it if all you who read this leave a note for my mom so that I can pass it along to her!
Thanks for all that you do and for being who you are!

hugs
xx

"Nothing is too small to know, and nothing too big to attempt."
-Sir William Van Horne

Go Chargers!

2008-12-28T18:27:00.000-08:00

Hey there, friends...just a quick update as I am still sans computer and I am borrowing my boyfriend's fathers. (let me just say that not having access to the Internets BLOWS!)
First and foremost, I hope that all of you had a very merry Christmas and a happy my birthday...it's the day after Christmas for those of you who aren't clued in. I am now officially a thirty four year old child. gross.
I just creeped myself out...anyhow...we had a great Christmas...very mellow and we had the best present of all, my mom...clean scans and all. What more could you ask for, right?
Right.
My mom is feeling supreme these days...independent and healthy. I haven't been over there much, I'm really trying to give her some breathing room as I have been up her arse for well over three months, poor girl...BREAK TIME!
We do have some rather big plans tomorrow though and we are both very excited! We are going WIG SHOPPING!
This will be very fun and quite the adventure I'm sure. My boyfriend Michael and I have been trying to talk her into getting a mohawk one or something, but she isn't having it from us.
I think for some reason, she wants to look normal, whatever that it is.
I will totally post pictures from the adventure...I swear, although it may take a moment or two.
Okay, friends, I am signing off...I'm going to go watch the Charger game...lets see if the choke...

and as always, thanks so much, to ALL of you, for who you are and what you do!

hugs
xx

this post is dedicated to not choking, dancing, love and letting your hair down.

Broken Computer = No Bloggity Blog Blog

2008-12-24T12:45:00.001-08:00

Sorry friends, my computer has a major malfunction...a big ol stupid virus...therefore, it has been nearly impossible for me to update the blog. I want to apologize for worrying any of you...I hadn't even thought to have my mom do it...oh well.
So get ready...its update time!
My mom started cycle seven of chemo last week. I, unfortunately was sick the first day, so my pops took her. The second day it poured rain and my mom wouldn't let me take her, so again, my pops took her. The third day, she called and said that I didn't need to come and get her, Nick would take her again.
At noon on the third day, my mom called me and said "Guess what I just did? I drove myself to chemo!" (let me remind you that she hasn't driven since July 24Th).
The next day, she drove herself to get her Nuelasta shot, Mervyn's for some clothes shopping, the Grocery Store and Trader Joe's.
Excuse me.
Apparently, my job here is done.

GO MOM!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Welcome Back to the Waiting List

2008-12-08T18:04:00.000-08:00

So, my friends, we are once again on the waiting list. No chemo today, aw boo. My mom's blood platelet was faaar tooo low for this go 'round.
Next week, though, she will be golden and ready to go!
Please sending out some quick healing vibes for my mom!
I know you all will, so I don't even know why I am asking!

Oh and fyi...My mom is actually feeling just sublime these days, so no need to worry!

This weeks blog my be a little a sparse since we don't have much to do this week.

hugs
xx

Nothing is too small to know, and nothing too big to attempt.-Sir William Van Horne

Cheerio There Buddies!

2008-12-05T20:22:00.000-08:00

Ah...I am feeling less sick than earlier...thank you Hay-suess!
I just perusing the Internets and I found this little gem on my friend Maureen's website. It's pretty awesome. I especially like the end apart it being "pinned to the chest" so many different meanings, but the most obvious for me is that is the exact spot where my mom's Medi-port now rests...strong and proud.
Now go read it.

"........see how the flesh grows backacross a wound,
with a great vehemence,
more strong than the simple,
untested surface before.
There's a name for it on horses,
when it comes back darker and raised:
proud flesh,
as all flesh is proud of its wounds,
wears them as honors given out after battle,
small triumphs pinned to the chest- "

- Jane Hirshfield

Good News, Bad News...Asi Aso

2008-12-05T12:21:00.000-08:00

Good News:
The scans are very clear, my mom's lung has aerated and she is very very healthy ands she has responded really well to treatment.
Bad News:
Three more cycles of chemo have been ordered.
Good News, Bad News, Asi Aso:
Dr. Paroly says that she is healthy, everything is looking really good and that these three treatments are like "insurance". He said that he would rather err on the side of overly cautious then the side of under treatment.
So, chemo starts again on Monday.

I think my mom is a little disappointed, but she, like Dr.Paroly, would rather just have that extra little bit of insurance.

ps...sorry if i seem outta sorts...i think im getting sick. ucky.

"Fall seven times, stand up eight"
-Japanese proverb

The Waiting List

2008-12-04T18:58:00.000-08:00

So, tomorrow is the big day.

Tomorrow is the day that we get the good news.

Tomorrow is the day that they will say that my mom has clean scans.

Tomorrow is the day that they say NO MORE CHEMO.

The appointment is at 10.40am and we should be back by 12pm.

Hope is the thing with feathersThat perches in the soul.And sings the tuneWithout the words,and never stops at all.
Emily Dickenson

Hola!

2008-12-01T19:14:00.000-08:00

I hope that you all had a good holiday weekend!

We really enjoyed ours! It was awesome!

So, here we are almost to Tuesday and my mom is still just truckin right along...being her typical busy body self. She said that she thinks shes ready to start driving again, she even mentioned that she almost went for a drive yesterday! wowzers!

For those of you who dont know, my mom has not driven since July 24th...thats a looong time. Her "vacation" from driving has been for two reasons...the first is because the mere thought of driving scares the shit out of her and secondly, the doctor told her that she couldn't...partly due to her brain swelling, but now that that's gone, she can literally be a free wheeling fool.

Well, when shes ready.

Good. Now she can start chauffeuring me around. haha

Anyway, this week is our "wait and see" week and its actually fairly quiet. The only appointments that we have are on Thursday for CBC/Chem Panel and on Friday for the "pre-chemo" visit. This is when Dr. Paroly will tell us how the CT Scan looked and whether or not she will need any more chemo.

So, for the rest of this week, please continue to be the pep squad, angel whisperers, healing vibes senders, positive thought provokers that you all have been throughout our crazy journey.

Keep your fingers crossed for clean scans and NO MORE CHEMO!

Just say no to chemo!

Here is a little gem of a photo that I thought you all would enjoy. It was taken during "Paparazzi Thanksgiving"

shhhh...dont tell her I put this on here...she might kill me!

hugs

"Sometimes one likes foolish people for their folly, better than wise people for their wisdom."-Elizabeth Gaskell

Gobble Gobble

2008-11-27T12:13:00.000-08:00

HAPPY TURKEY DAY FROM YOUR FAVORITE TURKEYS!

The Break Of Dawn

2008-11-25T14:52:00.000-08:00

Howdy there people! Just want to drop in kinda quick and give you some news.
My mom is doing really really well this week! I mean like whoa! We went to the bank, the grocery and Target yesterday. today we went to the grocery again. and still no nap!!
Yeah, like whoa! YES!!!!!
We are totally looking forward to Thanksgiving too!
Anyway, tomorrow is CT Scan day...the big one!
So, please, please, please keep your fingers crossed that this scan, just like all of the others, is CLEAR!
Clear means no more canser, no more tumors and NO MORE CHEMO!!

keep those fingers crossed, those healing vibes coming, those claps clapping, and love a' flowing!
oh and ps...can you send out some extra easy waking up vibes to since we have to be AT THE DOCTORS office at 7.15 AM. shit.

hugs
xx

Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy.
Nora Ephron

Feelin Funky Friday

2008-11-21T11:55:00.000-08:00

My mom had her Neulasta AND Procrit shots yesterday. Its the first time the have done them on the same day and she is feeling CRAPPY!
Well, the Neulasta always makes her feel flu-ey, but the combo is even worse. So, shes laying low today, curled up on the couch...poor buddy.
Send her some good vibes and some anti-flu symptom ju-ju.

Have a great weekend my friends!

They were so strong in their beliefs that there came a time when it hardly mattered what exactly those beliefs were; they all fused into a single stubbornness.
Louise Erdrich

We're Gonna Party Like It's Our Birthday

2008-11-19T14:11:00.000-08:00

"Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy."
Nora Ephron

Today should have been the last day of chemo...and it still very well may be...we wont know until December 4th.
and that's okay...
so, today we wore party hats and crowns and brought in some yummy funfetti cupcakes to chemo and had a "Hopefully this is our last chemo EVER party!"

Here is my mom with her favorite fellas Lance and Carlos in her party hat with sparklies...they've been calling us the party chicks since day one...that's weird, I wonder where they got that impression...

The schedule for the nest few weeks has lightened up considerably, but there are still a million appointments.

Tomorrow is the Neulasta shot...this is the one to help rebuild the WBC.
Friday is the Procrit shot...this is the one to help build up the RBC.
Monday and Wednesday of next week are CBC and CBC Chem Panel Blood tests.
Tuesday (12/2) is CT Scan, abdomen and pelvis Scan. This is a BIG one...this one tells us how the canser is doing...how it IS NOT GROWING!
Friday (12/5) is the prechemo visit with Dr. Paroly. He will review all of the blood tests as well as the CT Scan and tell my mom whether or not she will be needing anymore chemo.

I have a little favor to ask...over the next few weeks could all of you please, please just keep doing what you have been doing and sending out all of that good ju-ju for excellent scan results and no more chemo, we would really appreciate it.
We hate going to chemo and getting poked and feeling like shit and getting scans done and being bald and feeling tired all of the time...we are over it.

So, here's to clean scans and no more chemo!

hugs
xx

I have seen flowers come in stony places
And kind things done by men with ugly faces
And the gold cup won by the worst horse at the races,
So I trust too.
John Masefield

What A Difference A Day Makes

2008-11-17T14:50:00.000-08:00

So, we went to the hospital on Saturday and my mom's platelet count was up to 70,000! Can you believe that?! From Thursday to Saturday it was up 30,000.
wow.
Today we went for a CBC follow up at Dr. Parloy's and guess what?
Her count went up to 118,000!
Holy Cow!
Amazing!
And guess what else?
She started chemo, too!
Apparently, the counts have to be 100,000 or greater in order to start chemo...so, they gave her the go ahead.
and here we are... on on the 6th and FINAL cycle!!
AND we are on schedule...we didn't even end up being delayed!
oh...
AND SHE GOT HER PICC LINE OUT
so now she just has the Medi-port!
(i have a photo of the PICC line...i promise i will post it tomorrow)

MY
MOM
IS
KICKING
CANSER'S
ASS!!!!

SO FREAKIN AWESOME!!!

Thanks guys...we know it was you!

Wednesday is the last day of chemo so feel free to REALLY leave a million comments, emails and whathaveyou on that day! Its a celebration and we would LOVE to hear from ALL of you!!

and since you guys are so good at sending out all of this juicy goodness, positivity and healing light...please send out a little something extra for my boyfriend's uncle John Piazza and Michelle's dad, Papa Hoffman!

Happy Chemo Day Everyone!

hugs
xx

one must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star

2008-11-14T11:09:00.000-08:00

Happy Friday!
Well, we have just returned from our pre-chemo visit. Not so good news, I am afraid. No chemo next week...my mom's blood is just not cooperating. Her blood platelets are very, very low...41,000. The average healthy person's platelets are somewhere between 150,000 and 250,000...so 41,000 is not so good. We actually have to go over to Tri-City tomorrow and have them do a CBC on her and if the platelets are the same or lower, she has to get a platelet transfusion and return to the hospital on Sunday for another CBC. If, however, they are 50,000 she doesn't have to get another CBC until Monday.
All of this has really thrown our plans outta whack and my mom is a little disheartened...she thought she was going to be able to finish chemo next week. It looks like it will be delayed until the week of the 24th...hopefully.
So for the rest of this week/weekend and all of next week, the plan is to rest, eat some nutrient rich food, rest, and rest some more.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
What a big fat bummer.

we hope that all of you have a good weekend!

Fall seven times, stand up eight -Japanese proverb

November Is Lung Canser Awareness Month

2008-11-13T11:03:00.000-08:00

Ear Infection, shmear infection.
My mom does not have an ear infection my friends...just fluid in the ol ear. Not sure how it got there, but its there nonetheless. She was prescribed some meds so no biggie...
Anyway, so as you may have guessed, November is Lung Canser Awareness Month.
Observed across the country every year, Lung Canser Awareness Month helps bring attention to the risks of the disease. It also helps spread the word about the importance or prevention, earlier detection, and treatment.
We need to arm ourselves with the facts and information
Lung Canser is the development of abnormal cells in the lung. These cells begin to grow out of control and produce more cells that grow into a mass, also known as a tumor. The abnormal cells can spread to other parts of the body, this is known as Metasis.
There are two major types of lung canser:
small cell
non small cell
Small cell lung canser accounts for about 13% of lung canser cases. Small cell lung canser tends to spread rather quickly early on in the disease.
Non small cell lung canser accounts for about 87% of all lung canser. This type of lung canser spreads at a much slower rate.
Lung canser also has a certain stigma attached to it...almost everyone believes that you can only get lung canser from smoking. This just simply isn't true and although my mom has small cell lung canser, her doctor cannot attribute her canser to her smoking.
There are many risk factors for lung canser. A risk factor is anything that increases your chance of developing the disease. Having one or more risk factors doesn't mean that you will develop lung canser, but people with certain risk factors are more likely to develop lung canser. many risk factors can be changed, but not all of them can be avoided.
Here are a few risk factors that you can change:

Tobacco use is by far the leading cause of lung canser, accounting for about 9 out of`10 cases.
People who inhale second hand smoke may also be at higher risk for lung canser. They are exposed to the same canser causing agents as smokers.
Environmental risk factors, such as asbestos, radon, and air pollution can increase the risk of lung canser.

These are the risk factors that you cannot control:

Family history or personal history of lung canser increases your risk of developing lung canser or a second tumor.
Age. If you are older than 65, you are at greater risk for lung canser.
Ethnicity. (this one is a shocker to me) African Americans are more likely to develop lung canser than those in any other racial or ethnic group.

There are some statistics that are much more shocking to me than the one about ethnicity, but they are tough to read and even tougher to digest. I will keep these to myself for now and maybe forever, who knows. I will however, warn you whether or not I decide to share these so you can look away.
So, the bottom lines are this:
Lung canser, as well as all canser, is wack.
No matter what statistics you read, they did not do a study on 1,000 Karan's...these are not necessarily HER statics...everyone is different.

My mom has small cell lung canser with brain mets.
My mom is surviving.
My mom is kicking the shit out of canser.

SUPPORT CANSER RESEARCH

help us bring the invisible canser into the light

hugs
xx

ps...our ribbon color is white or clear. i have some clear ribbon pins if anyone wants some, let me know and i will mail you one.

School Is Back In Session

2008-11-10T19:05:00.000-08:00

Hello all...sorry for the delay, but dang life is busy...that's my "excuse" every time I miss the blog these days, huh?

Alright, lets all catch up to speed. Ready? Here we go.

So, as we all know, next week will hopefully be my mom's very last chemo EVER! Let's all do a collective finger crossing and send out some good ju-ju that this is true. My mom is still doing blood draws twice a week so that they can be really up to date with all of her levels. So far, they seem to all be doing fairly well, except for the Red Blood Cell Count.

Red Blood Cells are the most common type of blood cells and the vertebrate body's principal means of delivering oxygen to the body tissues via the blood. The process in which the Red Blood Cells are reproduced is called erythropoiesis. Erythrocytes are continuously being produced in the red bone marrow of large bones at a rate of 2 million per second.

Many chemo drugs temporarily stop cells from dividing, especially the cells that divide quickly. red blood cells, white blood cells and platelets are made by the bone marrow. These blood cells divide quickly. Chemo can lead to low blood counts, causing the possibility of a variety of symptoms and these are just some of them:

Myelosuppression - a decrease in the production of blood cells, which may lead to low blood count.
Pancytopenia - a lowering of all three types of blood cells; red blood cells, platelets, and white blood cells, which may lead to low red blood cell count, low blood platelet count, and/or low white blood cell count.
Anemia - a decrease in the number of red blood cells (RBC), which may lead to low red blood count.
Thrombocytopenia - a decrease in the number of platelets (PLT), which may lead to low blood platelet count.

There are a few things that you can do to help manage a low blood cell count such as resting between activities, eat an adequate amount of proteins and vitamins, and drink plenty of fluids. Dr. Paroly has also prescribed a medication called Procrit.

Procrit is a drug used to treat anemia in patients with kidney damage and in cancer patients whose lack of red blood cells results from chemotherapy and it helps build the Red Blood Cell Count. My mom will be administered these shots once a week for the next month. Hopefully these will up her Cell Count. She had her first shot last Friday and she says she can already feel the change. So, YEA for that!

It must be also aiding in her Attitude Cell Count because, whoa, watch out! She is feisty as ever, bossing me around, yelling at speeding cars and no longer listening to a word I say to her.

She has one more blood draw this week on Thursday and then the pre-chemo visit with Dr. Paroly on Friday...if all is well, she starts the LAST chemo on Monday!

Holy shit! That would be amazing! I think she is really looking forward to not only no more chemo, but no chemo during the holidays and the hair re-growth that comes along with it.

Please send out all of your magic prayers, finger crossing, beams of light, claps, and positive energy for this to be the LAST AND FINAL CHEMO!!

I do, though, feel the need to inform you that she has an ear infection...well, we think. Her right is clogged and it hurts. I have more than enough of these in my lifetime to know what the symptoms are and how bad they suck. We let the nurses, or girls as we call them, at Dr. Paroly's office know and tomorrow we are going to my mom's primary care physician to get the diagnosis. She'll be fine, but of course I will let you know the outcome.

Keep the love a'comin!!

Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.

-Gloria Steinem

November Is Lung Canser Awareness Month

2008-11-06T15:04:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone! Here we are! Sorry that we have been hiding...
we have been busy with voting, the elections, eating, doctors appointments, and helping Ashley get settled in. For those of you who don't know, my cousin Ashley moved down here from Los Angeles last week and she is staying with me until her new house is ready. Its been fun...and I think my mom has been enjoying having someone else around to look at instead of me. hahaha.
So, let's see...what can I fill you in on?
Not much really. My mom is doing really well..I mean aside from the annoyance of having to deal with Medi-cal, she is doing good. Her feisty attitude is back in full effect so I guess this means she is getting better...
anyway, sorry to cut this short after such a ling time away, but there really isn't any juicy dirt to spill...so I will not bore you any further.
Thank god my mom is feeling good, she is totally rocking the eff outta canser!!!
She is such an inspiration!
hugs
xx

"When life hands you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it."

(Ba)Rock The Vote

2008-11-04T08:57:00.000-08:00

Today is a history making day...no matter who you are voting for. This is the first time that we have ever had a multi-racial, multi-gender ticket and we all have the opportunity to participate in changing our country for the better.
It is within our reach...

V....O....T....E

Ghosts And Ghouls And Gobblins...Oh My!

2008-10-31T09:52:00.000-07:00

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

Keep On Rockin In The Free World

2008-10-29T22:21:00.000-07:00

Just a quick note...

Today was the last day of round five chemo...21 days to the sixth, and hopefully, finally cycle...
KEEP YOUR FINGERS CROSSED!!!!
She is doing wonderfully...
She was up and cruising around the house all day and she even had me take her to the store to get Halloween candy!

Small potatoes to some...HUGE BASKET to us.

We...I mean,

SHE

is

rockin!

Give a big birthday shout out to my Aunt! I think she said she's turning 24 and a half!

xoxo

hugs

xx

When You Take In The Sunshine, You Must Also Take In The Rain

2008-10-28T14:41:00.000-07:00

Hey all...today was day two of chemo and we were L A T E !!! Oh my! We were just sitting here enjoying ourselves chattering away and realized that all of the sudden it was 10.30, which also happened to be our appointment time. Imagine our frenzy trying to get out of the dang door! Phew!
We made it there in 15 minutes and only got in a little trouble with Paula....no not really...everything went nice and smooth, no problems. We even went to lunch right after, ran an errand and came home...where my mom has yet to take a nap and she is in the kitchen doing the dishes and flittering all around the house. haha. This is good...she is feeling great and I am thrilled!

Today, however, when we got back, I learned the sad, sad news of an old friend's passing. He was a 34 year old father, son, husband, brother, musician, master-mustache grower, friend and inspiration to many, many people.

The world is a little less brighter today but we are all much better people for having known him.

You will be missed but your smile will live on in our hearts forever.

Please keep Terrin's family in your prayers and in your hearts...send them all kinds of healing light
and please, please
SUPPORT CANSER RESEARCH!!!

canser really effing sucks.

Here is a link to an article that was written about Terrin a few weeks ago...
http://sdcitybeat.com/cms/story/detail/the_fighter/7405

“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.”

Morrie Schwartz

The Countdown Clock Has Started

2008-10-27T16:42:00.000-07:00

Happy October 27th...by this time next month, my mom will be done with chemo. Yep. You heard right. Oh mah gawd! Pretty awesome.
We went into Dr. Paroly's office this morning for my mom's 10.40 am CBC/Chem Panel test and walked out of there at 3.30 this afternoon. Why you ask? Well because Judy asked us to wait around to see the results of the CBC.
Well, Judy came back to us about 5 minutes later and asked if my mom would like to start cycle 5 of chemo...she said yes, of course. So, during chemo, she made out my mom's schedule for the next series of appointments. She said that Dr.Paroly only has her down for 6 cycles of chemo (which we knew a few weeks ago, but were uncertain if this would hold true...apparently, so far it has).
So, my mom finishes cycle 5 this week...Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday chemo (10/27-10/29, Neulasta and CBC on Thursday (10/30), CBC Monday (11/3), CBC/Chem panel Thursday (11/6), CBC Monday (11/10), CBC/Chem Panel Thursday (11/13), Pre-Chemo Visit Friday (11/14), CYCLE SIX Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday (11/17-11/19) Neulasta shot Thursday (11/20)...that's alot...and then...
THAT'S IT!!!
Can you freakin believe it?!
This is so amazing.
Hopefully, this is the last time that we ever, ever, ever have to go to chemo ever, ever again...keep your fingers crossed.
We met a great mother/son team today at chemo...Peter and Rose. Wow. Peter is his mother's caregiver and co-survivor.
I'm unsure if I have ever used these words here, on this blog...they are, however, words that I now use in my everyday life.
Some of the canser books and websites that I have seen say that the day that you are diagnosed with canser, you are survivor. You do not need to wait until you are in remission...
YOU ARE ALREADY A SURVIVOR.
I agree. This is a tough disease and an even tougher battle...people are stamping you left and right with all kinds of brands and monikers and numbers...why not give yourself a brand that has positive connotations...
SURVIVOR.
I have also started calling myself and my dad co-survivors because here we are surviving right along side of my mom. I came up with this title because I don't necessarily like the "caregiver" title. I don't know why, I just don't...nothing against anything or anyone...I dont know, maybe its as simple as this:
a caregiver is someone who is paid to give care to someone...this is not me. I do this because I wouldn't have it any other way. I would give up everything to be able to be with my mom everyday...like Peter and I were saying this afternoon...
this is the toughest thing that we have ever done, but THE most rewarding thing that we have ever done WITH our lives.
I am not giving care to my mom everyday...I am CO-SURVIVING with her everyday.
Plus, Co-Survivor seems so much more powerful and appropriate to me.
Anyway, I'm outta here...its been a loooong day and my sinuses are killing me.

ps...i just got word from my nieghbor and his dad is doing awesome!!! YES!!

hugs
xx

oh and im bringing back an oldie but a goodie....

INCURABLE ISN'T A DECLARATION...IT'S A DARE

and today is a two-fer...a two for one day....I stole this one right off of my darling friend Rawstin's page...

CANSER IS A WORD, NOT A SENTENCE

Doodley Doodely Doo

2008-10-24T10:33:00.000-07:00

Good Morning! Here's a little more good news to shove you off into the weekend...my mom says that she is feeling better today. No dizziness, a bigger appetite and a wee bit more energy. This is all good!Maybe we can even sneak in a Target...probably not. A girl can dream can't she? I mean, I'm sure Target really misses us!

Well, today we have nothing to do...knock on wood! I think we are just gonna chill, watch teevee, eat, and maybe take a nap or two...oh and do some laundry. This may seem like small potatoes to you, but that's pretty big to us.
Treat yourselves to something super this weekend...after all of your hard work, you deserve it!
Have a great weekend!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIM!

I'M SO GRATEFUL THAT WE CROSSED PATHS.
WE MISS YOU.
fyl

Shake It Like A Salt Shaker!

2008-10-23T13:39:00.000-07:00

We are still reeling from all of that juicy good news yesterday! I think we have told everyone that we have run into about the good news...I mean EVERYBODY! and every time my mom tells people she cries...tears of joy, of course, and then she gets me going and then she gets the other people going. Tears of joy, I can assure you.
Anyway, although we have had some of the best news that we have had in months, we are still not drama free. The medi-port started bleeding again last night so off we went to the hospital bright and early this morning. They seem to think its probably the old blood from the hematoma on the outside of the port. My mom seemed satisfied with that answer...we are just going to keep an eye on it...a close eye.
After our excursion at the hospital, we hopped on over to Dr. Paroly's for the standard CBC test. Just a refresher, the CBC stands for Complete Blood Count test. The CBC is used as a broad screening test to check for various disorders such as anemia and/or other infections. It is actually a panel of tests that include but are not limited to checking the RBC, WBC, Hemoglobin, Hemocrit, platelet count, etc.
It turns out that her platelet count has risen from 73,000 to 243,000! Pretty awesome! The girls, Deanne and Paula decided to check on my mom's "dizzy" problem by monitoring her blood pressure in the different positions...laying down, sitting and standing. Well, they figured out that not only was her low platelet count and low blood sugar count attributing to her dizziness, bit she also may have something called Orthostatic hypo tension. It is a form of hypo tension in which there is a sudden (less than 3 minutes) fall in blood pressure that occurs when a person assumes a standing position, usually after a prolonged period of rest. Its kinda like a head rush or dizzy spell. They have given her specific instructions about how to get up, seriously. She is being a good patient so far concerning that, I swear, but she wasn't at first! So, her prescription for this new ailment is (unfortunately it isn't more cowbell) is to be very, very slow when changing ANY position and to keep an elevated salt intake as well as drink some Gatorade. This is much harder than you can imagine! My mom is very stubborn and she doesn't like the Gatorade. She is getting used to it though...actually I think she is just tired of hearing me squawk at her.
Well, I'm outta here...it's hot and I'm tired of sitting here with this computer on my lap.

Keep up the good work everybody!!
and keep your fingers crossed for a speedy and very, very, very, very, very lengthy remission!

hugs
xx

"When there is no peril in the fight there is no glory in the triumph."
--Pierre Corneille

We Just Voted and So Should You! ps...this blog is full of juicy good news too!!!

2008-10-22T14:08:00.000-07:00

My mom and I usually go to a house around the corner every year and vote. This year we thought that it may be a little more work than normal to get around the corner so we decided to register to vote via mail in ballot. So, we just voted, stuffed our envelopes, stamped them and put them in the mailbox. Done and done! Awesome!
Did you know that the saying "Vote early and vote often" was originally said by Al Capone? He sure did...and that is your lesson for the day. You're welcome.
Hold on...I just got side tracked...Dr. Lean's office just called. Dr. Lean, if you all remember, is my mom's Radiologist. Guess what?
Holy shit! Hold on to your pants people....this is so effing awesome!
They said that the smaller tumors on my mom's brain are GONE!!! GONE!! oh my god! GONE!!!
praise Elvis!
They also said that the larger one has shrunk considerably! Considerably! They said that the MRI results are pretty much the best that you can get. Also, apparently, she no longer needs to go to Radiation! YES!!! I mean, we love Dr. Lean, but the thought of no more Radiation is amazing. Her very next appointment with Dr. Lean will be in February where she will get an MRI to check the progress of the tumors. This also means, as my cousin pointed out, her hair will start grow back! My mom is very excited about that...while bald is beautiful, bald is also cold and bald quite often provokes stares. That's kinda hard...so bring on the hair!
I cant tell you what a relief this has been! When my mom got off of the phone and told me and Bev the news, we just started crying...well, i was doing the booty shaking happy dance while I was crying, of course.

Hopefully from here on out, she stays nice and healthy...no more canser...EVER!!!
I have this feeling that my mom's road to remission has been paved not only with a healthier diet, but with all of that dang love, prayer, jokes, laughter, claps and whathaveyou, that you all have been sending her way.
I guess what they say is true, love CAN move mountains...shoot, love can move canser right out of the body too!
Thank you, each and everyone of you for all of you positive thoughts, care and concern...keep it coming because while we have received some supercalifragilistcexpialidocious news today, the battle is still not over.

Damn! Today was a good day!

Rejoice everyone...be happy and let out a sigh of relief because guess what? THE TUMORS ARE SHRINKING!

my mom is so rockin the shit out of this canser!

hugs
xx

ps...don't forget to vote!

There is not enough darkness in all the world to put out the light of even one small candle.
- Robert Alden

High Fives All Around

2008-10-20T13:24:00.000-07:00

Good Afternoon and Happy Monday.
Guess where we went today?
Yep, you guessed it, Dr. Paroly's.
Wanna know what he said?
Too bad...tune in next week.
Just Kidding.
Good news and high fives all around! There is no new growth. YEAH!!! NO NEW GROWTH.
He also said that the scans seem clear and that the right lung seems to be aerating really well.
**aer·ate
[air-eyt, ey-uh-reyt]
–verb (used with object), -at·ed, -at·ing.

1.	to expose to the action or effect of air or to cause air to circulate through: to aerate milk in order to remove odors.

2.	to change or treat with air or a gas, esp. with carbon dioxide.

3.	Physiology. to expose (a medium or tissue) to air, as in the oxygenation of the blood in respiration.

Remember awhile back when Dr. Paroly said that my mom needed to cough and push that "plug" out? Well, apparently that's whats going on. He also said that all of her levels look really good...except the blood platelets...they are very low. Actually, they are so low that chemo has been called off this week. This is good and bad, obviously, good because that means that she can rest, sort of a mini-vacation, bad news, no chemo...but maybe that's good news too.
Hopefully with all of the rest that she will get this week, along with an iron and protein rich diet, the blood platelets will go back up to a more normal level. A normal persons blood platelet level is usually between 150,000 and 400,000...my moms are somewhere around 73,000. Dr. Paroly said that this is not necessarily life threateningly low, but he fears if we started chemo this week, that by the end, it would be. We agree and are looking forward to a mini-vacation.
All in all, though, it was a good news day, none of this was bad news to us, not even the platelet business...and to think I used to hate Mondays!

So, now we can all let out a collective sigh of relief, do a booty shaking happy dance or leak out some tears of joy...my mom is on the road to remission!
Shes rockin.

Thank you, thank you, thank you from the tips of my toes to the top of my head...keep up the good work!

hugs to all of you
xx

"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."

January Should Go On Record As The Busiest Month

2008-10-17T16:09:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday!
Well, let's just get down to business. When my mom woke up this morning she noticed that she had a little bit of bleeding around the port area. Nothing major, just a wee bit of blood...but considering what happened last time, we have decided that it is alright if we are overly cautious...so we took ourselves right on down to the hospital. As you can imagine, my mom was very nervous, as was I, but Linda and Laurie were really good to her and everything, so far, is fine. It seems as though her stitch may have ripped a teeny bit, causing some of the very, very minor bleeding. Laurie ended up just putting some more steri-strips and a piece of gauze over it. We have to go back Tuesday morning before chemo to have it checked out...this means we have to get up EARLY. This will, I'm sure, prove to be hard, as we two lazy little buddies these days. Oh well, we will make it...I have faith in us!
hopefully, this weekend will be a nice relaxing one for my mom, aside from all of these October birthday goings on...
Alright, kids, I'm out.
Please keep your fingers crossed that my mom makes it through the weekend blood, stress and fever free. Also, remember that Monday is another big day for us...its the CT Scan results show. If you could please keep sending out all of those juicy good healing vibes, good news vibes, a million claps...or whatever it is that all of you have been doing for my mom...we would really appreciate it.
Also, please keep up those positive vibes for Michelle's papa, Cookie, my neighbor's family and last but not least, our chemo buddy Mike.
ohhhh guess what?
In the midst of all of this craziness, we heard some really good news yesterday...some very good family friends are having a baby! Yes! I love hearing about love, new life and new hope...plus, pretty soon we will get to play with a new baby, and smell it, and squeeze it....I could go on and on. Lets not.
Instead, let's do this:

Say Happy Birthday to Miss Melody Dill Melvin whose Birthday is today!
xo

and on Sunday don't forget to wish this little Bun (Michael) a big ol' Happy 30th Birthday!

xoxo

I'm bringing back on oldie but a goodie:

"Love doesn't make the world go 'round; love is what makes the ride worthwhile"

Chemo Buddy

2008-10-16T15:22:00.000-07:00

I totally forgot! We saw our old chemo buddy, Mike today! We haven't seen him in so long! It was nice to visit with him for 15 or so minutes. Apparently, he wasn't doing so well just a few weeks ago. he had been in the hospital getting a blood transfusion as well as a platelet transfusion...poor fella. He says that he is feeling much better now. Good.
Please send out some healing ju-ju for Mike...I think he needs it!

hugs xx

"Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else."
Ogden Nash

Blood Draws, Chem Panels and Medi-Ports, Oh My!

2008-10-16T12:57:00.000-07:00

Heya...we just got back from good ol Dr. Paroly's where my mom got her CBC/Chem Panel.
POP QUIZ! What is a Chem Panel?
Cmon.....this is the test that determines the levels of everything going in the human body. WBC levels, RBC levels, Potassium, Calcium, Liver, etc.
We will get these results on Monday when we visit Dr. Paroly before starting chemo on Tuesday. This is when we will also receive the results of the CT Scan that was done yesterday. Oh boy...I hope that the results are even better this time than they were last time...however, we will not WAIT around for those results, no holding our breaths...none of that, remember, this is our life and my mom has canser, it DOES NOT have her, right? right.
However, don't let that stop you from sending out all of those good healing vibes, love, light, a million claps or prayers to the King, Elvis...keep those coming, but stop holding your breath, its only going to give you a headache!
Alright, I'm off to save the world one Medi-cal letter at a time. Okay, not really, I'm just off to send out my mom's "insurance" information to every single doctor, nurse, and or IV that has touched her in the last two months. If I don't blog tomorrow, please call for help and if they cant find me, tell them to look under the giant stack of mail.
hugs
xx

PS...
if you see this old lady today, please offer her your chair. poor girl, shes getting old!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNIFER!
XO

Sleepy Sleeperton

2008-10-15T12:37:00.000-07:00

So, here we are...back from the CT Scan. It was much easier this time, no yucky, ucky "milkshake" just an iodine IV. Much better.
However, her port is really, really sore today..I can only imagine. So she is just sleep, sleep, sleeping. Good. She needs it. Its been a busy week and it's only Wednesday.
She starts chemo again next week...I hope she is rested enough for that.
We still don't have the MRI results yet...but I will keep you posted. Keep up the good vibes for continued good news in my mom's recovery!
Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart for everything that all of have done for us, for my mom...your support has meant the world to us!
I will say again though, as I do every single day...canser is wack. I have found, however, that I have learned alot about myself, the world, science, life and love throughout this journey so far. I hope that I can continue to grow my brain as well as my heart during the rest of my mom's recovery and eventual remission.
It is my greatest desire for no one else to ever have to go through this type of experience ever again...but I don't have a magic wand. So, the second best thing to help to bring canser awareness into the light...not just lung canser...ALL canser! The more people talk about it, the more research that is done, the more likely that we will see an end to this ridiculous, heartbreaking disease.
It seems like every other week or so, I hear of a friend who has joined the "club" ( i have been referring to it as "the lamest club you never wanted to join")...damn it. Lets bring this disease to light! Stand up and fight! Make them hear you! Support Canser Research!
and don't forget to VOTE!!

*here is an update on some of friends...
my neighbors father had his surgery on the third and seems to be doing well. he starts radiation this week. send some taste buds and healing light to him.
my friend, who we will call Cookie, seems to be hanging in there like a trooper! shes a feisty girl!
YES! send her some healing light and a beer next time you see her!
unfortunately, I found out today that a long time friend of mine's father has canser as well. shit.
he has been trying some alternative treatments...he is set to begin chemo and radiation soon. lets send him some healing light, taste buds and anti nausea vibes!

hug to all of you!
xx

"If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done."
Peter Ustinov

We're Baaack

2008-10-14T15:36:00.000-07:00

The surgery went smoothly...except for the part where she felt "the needle" (not sure what that was). She is resting comfortably in her bed and I'm fooling around on the computer. Ah...
Tomorrow its on to the CT Scan!
hugs
xx

"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me."
Ayn Rand

Good Morning

2008-10-14T09:40:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to let you all know that we are on our way to get the new Medi-port.
Be back later this afternoon!

My mom is nervous and doesnt really wanna go...so send her some strength and healing love!
hugs
xx

It Might Be a Crazy Life, But It's Our Life

2008-10-13T16:01:00.000-07:00

Hola!
Lets catch up...Friday my mom came down with another fever and had to go to Tri-City to get another blood culture taken to determine the cause. Four hours later it turned out to be just a run of the mill infection...no biggie...however, her red blood cell counts are still very low. Unfortunately, my friends, I think she is going to have to break and eat some meat. I know, I know...there are supplements or different foods she can eat...there is a problem there though...she wont take any supplements unless approved by her doctor AND even bigger, she absolutely will not take anymore pills...she is just sick of taking pills and I cant blame her. The other issue is that there aren't many things that she even feels like eating, so if she eats a bit of a hamburger or some bacon with her eggs once a week or so for the next few weeks, I'm good with that.
pssst....we ate BLT's today...I ate the bacon with her...oh well, it was kinda fun to be a little rebellious!
Anyway, onto Saturday. Medical finally approved the MRI, so she and my daddio went to the MRI place on Saturday afternoon. I heard that she did really good...if you don't already know this about my mom...she is horribly claustrophobic!
I'm sure that we will get this results soon....and then back to Radiology and Dr. Lean's we go! Lets hope, though, that the toomah (tumor) is shrinking. The less Radiation, the better, right? Right. This would also mean that the canser would be vacating and that would be the greatest news EVER!!
So, today we went and had the usual blood draw and the usual run-a-round with Medical and crap...but whatever.
Tomorrow, if you all remember is Medi-port day. We have to check in for the surgery at 11.30am and it should take about 3 or so hours. My mom is really excited to get the port...the pick line is slightly annoying, it has to be flushed everyday, it hangs out of your clothes so its hard to hide, you have to be careful to when you shower, blah, blah, blah. Hopefully this little bugger doesn't get infected! We have vowed to each other to keep a very very close eye on this one!
Wednesday is CT Scan day...the big day. This one, forgive me for constantly repeating myself, is the one that tells us about the canser and the lung toomah. Lets all pray, clap, sing, laugh, dance and cross our fingers that it still hasn't grown...actually, lets pray, clap, sing, laugh, dance and cross out fingers that its just GONE! Yeah, that's better!
Thursday there will be another blood draw, this one is CBC Chem panel. Its almost, unbelievably enough, to start chemo again. erg.
Maybe we can rest on Friday...right, Miss Jen?

On a side note, kinda sorta...
Bureaucracy and Red Tape sucks...we need Health care Reform.
Those of us who can vote, please do it and those of us who aren't registered, Whadda ya waitin for?
BE THE CHANGE!!

hugs
xxx

"I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."
Robert McClusky, state department spokesperson

Hello Dolly

2008-10-09T14:42:00.000-07:00

Well, things seem to have settled down a bit around here...for now. My mom has gotten some of her appetite back as well as her energy. As for me, I have pretty much finished organizing my house...thank god! The rest of this week is going to be pretty quiet...its next week that looks a little coo-koo.
Monday...blood draw (normal)
Tuesday...new Mediport
Wednesday...CT Scan
Thursday...Jennifer's Birthday
Friday...Melody's Birthday
Saturday...a break
Sunday...Michael's big Three Oh Birthday!
phew!
Also, lets not forget that my most favorite holiday is arriving in just 22 short days.

We are currently still waiting for approval form Medical to her MRI...this is pretty overdue and the sooner we get it the better. However, worrying and wringing our hands about it will only make the wait worse. So, instead, my friends, lets do this:
send out positive, healing vibes for the Mediport surgery on Tuesday, finger crossing and positive vibes on Wednesday for the CT Scan (clean, non canser results), good vibes and red tape cutting for Medical approval for the MRI and loads of birthday blessings for next weekends October birthday babies!
Alright, my allergies are crazy and my eyes are watering up something fierce thanks to all of this dang wind...so I'm outta here!
hugs to you
xxx
ps...joshua tree was amazing! truly. crossroads, tim and katie, pappy and harriets, integratron, ricochet, rim rock ranch, mike, shuffleboard, bug zappers, ouija boards, graham parsons, wide open spaces, saff and melda, ufos and aliens, dirty dusty roads, stars, d-lo, campfires, candy at midnight, fresh air and love, love, love.

"They danced down the streets like dingledodies, and I shambled after as I've been doing all my life after people who interest me, because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!"" Jack Kerouac

Biserk

2008-10-07T16:52:00.000-07:00

Sorry....I'm back. We're back. So busy finishing moving, unpacking from Joshua Tree and whatnot. My mom is doing superbly. I promise I will write later.
Don't hate me.
xo

Its Hot in the City

2008-10-01T13:06:00.000-07:00

Happy Wednesday...otherwise known as day two of chemo. Unfortunately, yesterday was a wee bit rough. A few hours after chemo, my mom got sick...kinda strange that after all of this time, she gets sick now...but today, so far, so good. She was given Kytril at chemo this morning...well, actually, she gets it before every chemo. For those of you who don't know, Kytril is used to treat nausea and vomiting during chemo treatments. She is also prescribed Compazine, another anti-nausea medication, that she can take at home...yesterday was the first time that she had to take it.
However, I am not entirely convinced that my mom got sick because of chemo...maybe I'm being naive, but it was sososo hot yesterday (87 degrees is very hot for us...dont make fun!) and we ate some food that we haven't eaten since before my mom got sick...hummus, tzatziki sauce, falafal, and a Greek salad...may have been a wee bit oily for her new constitution. Alot of people have said that after chemo, their stomach and digestive system is much much different...even taste buds are different...she is already experiencing that. So many of the things she enjoyed before, she no longer likes.
So lets see...the rest of this week looks like this:
tomorrow is the last day of chemo...for this cycle.
Friday, Nulasta shot and MRI
I, unfortunately will be gone until Sunday...which feels awkward, but shes got my dad to take her to her appointments...and I will be here for the results next week. I will keep you posted on the results.
Please send out good healing light, a million claps, crossed fingers, prayers to Elvis and keep up the and positive vibes for clean, clean canser free scans.
Okay, my friends, I will catch you all up on the goods on Sunday.
Lots of hugs to all of you for all of your positivity and awesome friendship!
xo

"A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election."Kendall wants you to get out and vote!

Good Day's Sunshine

2008-09-29T15:22:00.000-07:00

I guess I should start this post the same way I started off the last post...apologizing. I'm sorry. Life has just been so dang busy lately...if I could just get two more hours squeezed in the day, Id be golden...not gonna happen...oh well.
Anyway, so moving has proven to be more of a chore than any of us imagined...we worked at it all day and when I woke up this morning, it looked like we had a party instead of working. bleckh...whatever. This week's activities also include, chemo, doctors appointments, visiting with a very dear family friend, saying goodbye to my boyfriend's mom...she is moving to New York this week, and attending a weekend wedding starting on Thursday, in Joshua Tree. Yikes. See why I need two extra hours?
Also, please note how I did not even once mention infusions, IV, or Vancomycin. Unfortunately, and fortunately, my mom actually suffered an allergic reaction to it on Friday night...weird, a full TWO weeks later. Don't be alarmed...the allergic reaction was pretty minor considering all of the other allergic reactions we had read about...it ended up feeling like the insides of her body were itching...creepy. We phoned the doctor on call and he said to stop the infusion until Monday when we saw Dr. Paroly.
Today, my friends, is Monday. This means that we went to the doctor...this also means tomorrow is the first day of chemo...with the PICC line...I hope this goes smoothly. My mom has been having some vein issues as of late...well, her veins are just pretty much shit.
Anyway, back to the doctors visit...hang on to your pants, kids...this is a good one!
Lets start off with this...
Dr. Paroly agreed that it doesn't seem as though my mom is needing the infusions anymore. However, we do need to keep an eye on her temp...just in case. This is a victory! This means that we can go to Target and not be tethered to that dang pole anymore! Woo-who!!
And now, we will move onto this....
If you all remember, and I'm sure you do, (especially with my constant reminding) my mom gets her blood taken a few days before the start of chemo to determine her WBC, to see how the kidneys are doing, check out the sodium levels...yadda yadda yadda, right?
So, today, Dr. Paroly tells my mom that
a) her sodium level is a little low...she needs to salt her food a teeny bit. no biggie, we can do that.
b) her potassium level is a little low...no biggie, they have already given her a prescription for that.
c) her WBC are just fine...pretty awesome
d) her platelets and red blood cells are just fine as well.
e)she's a teeny anemic...the doctor says that we all are...just watch it a little better right now.
This has the two of us smiling away. We are so happy to hear that her body is so healthy. I think we wanted to hug each other...but Dr. Paroly is kind of a serious guy and I think we might frighten him if we behaved like we normally do, so we held it in...with big deep breaths.
He also told us that this course of treatment is usually about 6 cycles...we are on the fourth!Woo-who!!! Talk about wanting to hug each other!
He then asked my mom HOW she was feeling...asked about her headaches (there are NONE) chest pain, etc. he then says to my mom..."You really have no symptoms and that is good." Then he knocked on wood and my mom knocked on her head. Funny...shes so crazy.

Today was such a good day. Tiny miracles.

hugs and love to all of you
xo

"Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls."
Mother Teresa

Im Sorry, So Sorry

2008-09-26T13:06:00.000-07:00

I have really been lagging on my blogging duties...my apologies. Life is so busy right now, weird, I know...on top of doing my mom's meds and going to a million appointments, I am also redecorating my house and my boyfriend, Michael is moving in. By the time I am done with everything for the day and sit down to blog, its like 10pm or later and I'm dozing off. Sheesh, I'm getting old!
Enough about me...let's talk about my mom...
so, lets see...we are now on day 7 of home health care and its going pretty good, aside from the two fever spikes that she has had. There isn't really much to say at this point about it...its just a wait and see period right now. the last of her Vancomycin infusions is supposed to be on the 30Th, but since she had the fevers, its looking like she may have to be on it for a bit longer. Oh well, at least shes at home.
Today she went and had the CBC/Chem Panel done and Monday is the follow up appointment to see how the WBC is doing ( this is the pop quiz portion of the blog!). If all of the counts are good, chemo starts Tuesday morning after her Vanco infusion and then continues on to Wednesday and Thursday and ending with the Nulasta shot on Friday.
Sometime during next week, my mom is also going to have the MRI to determine how the brain mets are doing. Okay, guys, this is big...so please, please cross those fingers, send healing light, pray, send positive thoughts or whatever it is that you do and did last time before the CT Scan...whatever it was that you all did then, worked...so keep it up! Please.
I will definitely let you all know what day the scan is...I promise.

I'm going to end this post on a cool note...back in July, when my mom was diagnosed, you may remember that we cut all of our hair and donated it. I wrote a nice little note about our experience and journey, I also included a photo of us. I guess that once the woman gets the wig, she will also receive the letter and photo that we sent...Pretty cool.
Well,today we got a note from Pantene:

"On behalf of Pantene Beautiful Lengths, with heartfelt appreciation, we thank you for giving so selflessly of yourself to women who are faced with hair loss from cancer treatments. Your healthy ponytail will help give self-confidence back to a special woman who is battling cancer so that she can fight the disease with a little more dignity. Your generosity is so touching and we hope that it will inspire many others to make the kindest cut of all. As you may already know, it takes roughly six ponytails to make one Pantene Beautiful Lengths wig. your donation will be joined with five others and transformed into a high quality, real hair wig by HairUWear, our campaign partner and leading global producer of real hair wigs and extensions. We are also honored to work closely with the American Cancer Society. The American Cancer Society distributes Pantene Beautiful Lengths wigs, at no cost, to female cancer patients, through its extensive network of nationwide wig banks. together, we can bring some joy into the lives of women living with cancer. Kindest regards,
Pantene Beautiful Lengths

We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open. -Jawaharlal Nehru

Nurse Ratched Part 200

2008-09-23T22:18:00.000-07:00

So, the new PICC line is working wondrously. However, when I returned this evening at 7.30 to administer the meds, my mom's cheeks were very pink. I immediately made her take off her quilt as well as her goose down blanket and took her temp...a blistering 101.8...damnit and gave her two Tylenol. I then phoned Dr. Paroly and my mom spoke with him. He told her that sometimes you can spike a fever during antibiotics and that's its better to have one during then after the treatment is done. He also told her that there is a tiny possibility that the PICC is already infected so we have to go in tomorrow and get a blood test done. Lets please hope that this is not the case...my mom's veins are crap and they always have been...so finishing the Vancomycin and doing chemo without a PICC or port could be bad.
Here is the temperature progress report...it gets better at the end, kids, I swear, I would not lie:
at 7.45pm it was 101.8
at 8.14pm it was 100.3
at 9.oopm it was 99.5
at 9.30 it was 98.8
I told you it got better.
I laid out her evening meds as well as some Tylenol for her to take every 4-6 hours and a big bottle of water.
Hopefully in the am, she will be fever free still. I feel terrible to have to tell everyone about this news, but its important and I'm sure that all of you want to know.
So, here is to hoping that the PICC is doing just fine, the infection is clearing, the fever is gone, and that the canser is vacating the building.
Thank you so much for all of your continued support, thoughts, prayers, wishes, jokes and all of the other good stuff! We truly appreciate each and everyone of you!
Also, thanks for sending out all of those good vibes for my friend...she is doing really good...shes a tough cookie, too!

"I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end."
Margaret Thatcher

Nurse Ratched Has Taken Over

2008-09-22T22:15:00.000-07:00

Sorry to be a lagger on the ol bloggy bloggerton, folks. It has a busy and somewhat stressful last couple of days. Learning to become the Home Health Care Nurse has been quite time consuming. Now that Ive gotten the hang of it I can get back to the blog.

So, here is the scoop:

I hang the antibiotic IV twice and a day, prime the tube, clean the tip of the PICC line (which she got today, flush it with saline, hook the PICC line and the antibiotic together, let that run for 90 minutes, unhook it, flush it with saline, then flush it with herceptin. There are quite a few other things that go along with it...but that's the jest. Its pretty involved but its a very cool learning experience.

Today I actually took out my mom's old peripheral IV...what a trip...here is what it looked like after I took it out.

The light blue part was the part that was inserted in her vein. Please do not fret...this photo was taken after I took it out and laid the IV on the floor.

Alright, sorry to cut it short...but Ive got to go to bed so that Nurse Ratched can get up in time tomorrow morning.

Also, my mom is doing fabulously!

Upon arrival at a mental institution, a brash rebel rallies the patients together to take on the oppressive Nurse Ratched, a woman more a dictator than a nurse. ---One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest

Love and Laughter

KAZZAS ARMY

He Who Has Yet To Be Named

Half Way To The Finish Line

Just Think...

Im sure that Ive shared this before, but I just ran across is again....its from my moms MYSPACE posted on Jan 19 2009...kinda amazing how the universe works...

Just think

Love plus Magic Equals My Mom

Loss leaves us empty - but learn not to close your heart and mind in grief. Allow life to replenish you. When sorrow comes it seems impossible - but new joys wait to fill the void.— Pam Brown

Better Late Than Never...

Oh friends...

On this day in 1953

Mom

glee

“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.” Ashley Smith

The Biggest Best News Yet!

The TLE

Good News Part Duex

Its Official

“A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for”

Hiddy Ho There Neighbors!

Here We Go!

You Say It's Your Birthday....

Aotearoa

Strength and Hope

“Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark.”

The Boy With Sunshine In His Eyes

Ready. Set. Hike!

You Say It's Your Birthday?

Faith is what will sustain us.

Its a Sunshine Day

Three Cheers for the Red White And Blue

You Say It's Your Birthday

MDF

Socks and Ties

Tick Tock

The New Adventures of Little Miss

Pog Ma Thoin

June 9,

On This Date in History...

One Month Ago Today

Just The Facts, Ma'am

All You Need Is Love

Stating The Obvious

The Cat is Outta The Bag

Shhh....It's A Surprise

A Day Late And A Few Bucks Short

Life Or Something Like It

Please Sign Our Guest Book

I Havent Any Words...

Vegimite, Tasty Cheese, Pixies and a Brand New Dad

Alas...No Chemo

Walking On Sunshine

Its Update Time

Day One, Cycle Two

Daylight Savings Time!! Woo-Who!

Hey There! Hi There! Ho There!

Well La-Ti-Dah.

Optimism is the foundation of courage.

Round One

Real Quick Like

Love and Laughter

How Dee Doo Dee

The Road That Unfolds Before Us

Medi-Port, Port of Call, Port-a Vallerta?

Feliz Ano Neuvo!

Go Chargers!

Broken Computer = No Bloggity Blog Blog

Welcome Back to the Waiting List

Cheerio There Buddies!

Good News, Bad News...Asi Aso

The Waiting List

Hola!

Gobble Gobble

The Break Of Dawn

Feelin Funky Friday

We're Gonna Party Like It's Our Birthday

What A Difference A Day Makes

November Is Lung Canser Awareness Month

School Is Back In Session

Loss leaves us empty - but learn not to close your heart and mind in grief. Allow life to replenish you. When sorrow comes it seems impossible - but new joys wait to fill the void.
— Pam Brown