Mom

“I thought of you with love today, but that is nothing new, I thought about you yesterday and days before that too.

I think of you in silence, I often speak your name, all I have are memories and your picture in a frame.

Your memory is my keepsake, with which I’ll never part. God has you in his keeping, I have you in my heart."

I miss you more today than yesterday and only half as much as tomorrow

Today marks the one year anniversary of my mom’s passing, I can’t help but reflect on the year and the monumental changes that have happened.

I am a mommas girl through and through and I have honestly surprised myself by making it this far. I didn’t think that I would ever last a day without her. There have been many, many days that I felt that I wanted to just crumble onto the ground …but like I said, I am a mommas girl and that means that I won’t allow myself to do that…plus I have a huge fear of her coming and smacking me from the afterlife for behaving less than she would have wanted me to.

My pain hasn’t lessened any, it’s just projected in a different way and I will forever walk around with a ginormous whole in my heart.

My family and I have lost an integral part of our being, the thread that held our family fabric together and we have had the hardest year that anyone can imagine…but, we are all still standing…and some days that its only attributed to the fact that we have someone else holding us up…and that’s okay, thank god we have each other. I know, for myself, that I wouldn’t have made it here if it weren’t for my amazing family and for my very compassionate and understanding friends. I feel so lucky to be surrounded by such amazing people.

I’ve learned a lot of things this year…I’ve learned that I’m stronger than I never thought I was, I’ve learned that each day I am more like my mom and that really makes me smile and I’ve learned that love isn’t what makes the world go ‘round, it’s what makes the ride worthwhile.

glee

Yes, that is a term of joy...but more importantly, its the television show that my cousin Emily is trying out for!
She needs votes so friends please go here and watch the video of her singing:

EMILY SINGS!

and then go here and vote for her:

GLEE AUDITION

Now, you have to have a MySpace account in order to vote...so if you dont have one, maybe you can make one real quick? ;)

And please, please tell your friends.
Help make her dream come true!

Come on friends! You can doooooo it!!

hugs xx

“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.” Ashley Smith