Today marks the one year anniversary of my mom’s passing, I can’t help but reflect on the year and the monumental changes that have happened.

I am a mommas girl through and through and I have honestly surprised myself by making it this far. I didn’t think that I would ever last a day without her. There have been many, many days that I felt that I wanted to just crumble onto the ground …but like I said, I am a mommas girl and that means that I won’t allow myself to do that…plus I have a huge fear of her coming and smacking me from the afterlife for behaving less than she would have wanted me to.

My pain hasn’t lessened any, it’s just projected in a different way and I will forever walk around with a ginormous whole in my heart.

My family and I have lost an integral part of our being, the thread that held our family fabric together and we have had the hardest year that anyone can imagine…but, we are all still standing…and some days that its only attributed to the fact that we have someone else holding us up…and that’s okay, thank god we have each other. I know, for myself, that I wouldn’t have made it here if it weren’t for my amazing family and for my very compassionate and understanding friends. I feel so lucky to be surrounded by such amazing people.

I’ve learned a lot of things this year…I’ve learned that I’m stronger than I never thought I was, I’ve learned that each day I am more like my mom and that really makes me smile and I’ve learned that love isn’t what makes the world go ‘round, it’s what makes the ride worthwhile.