Names and Numbers

We talk about canser everyday...with each other, with friends, with family, with strangers, with doctors, with nurses...whomever. It's a topic of daily conversation...it's a topic in our daily thoughts. Sometimes, we get lucky and we forget about it, it may only just for a few moments, but in those moments, it's just us and the hum has quieted down. However, more often than not, we think about it and we talk about it. Our canser chats are never sad, mainly it's curious conversation (and alot of laughing!)..."How does this work? Is the MRI gonna be enclosed? Oh wow! I can taste the green peppers and the onions in this rice! I wonder when I will be able to taste the rest?" It's our new kind of normal and we are cruising and just living and enjoying the moment.
In the course of our daily converstations that occur with other people, there are two questions that seems to be coming up..."What stage is your canser?" and "What is your type of canser called?"
Honestly, we haven't a clue...nobody has ever told us and we haven't asked. Today, when all was quiet on the western front, my mom and I talked about those two questions.
Why haven't we asked?
Do we want to ask?
Do we care?
Is it even important?
Will knowing the name and the number change anything?
Will it benefit us and our situation in any way?
Will we feel any different?
No.
Probably not.
Are we being ignorant by not knowing?
Maybe.
Then again, maybe not.
We are pretty sure that if the name and/or the number were something truly important, someone would have told us. Another canser survivor agreed.
Are the answers to these questions going to make a difference?
My mom has chosen not to ask...and I agree.
We have chosen to focus on what we think is important.
We know that it is lung canser with mets.
Important.
We know that it is small cell canser.
Important.
We know that it a very very treatable type of canser that responds very very well to treatment.
Important.
We know what types of medication my mom takes and why she takes them.
Important.
We know that it is a controllable, manageable canser.
Important.
We know that we are happy, well loved and supported.
Important.
We know that Incurable Isn't A Declaration, It's A Dare!
Important.

and everything after that is just a name and a number.